- Daisy Moses: Jed, you go out there and do your duty to your female cousin. Ask that city fella what he'd rather git, married or buried?
- Jed Clampett: Now Granny, I don't hold with gittin' folks married unless they's willin'.
- Daisy Moses: Pearl's got enough willin' fer both of 'em.
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: My answer is still no.
- Jed Clampett: Better quit while your ahead, Mr. Brewster.
- Jed Clampett: [Elly May is holding a skunk] Granny'd appreciate it if you'd have this little feller sleep with his own family.
- Elly May Clampett: Alright, I'll go get the others in.
- Jed Clampett: No, no , no, outdoors with his family.
- John Brewster: As a matter of fact, I'm wearing a little theatrical makeup. Mrs. Bodine, how would you like some pancake on your face?
- Cousin Pearl Bodine: How'd you like some sweet potato pie on yours?