- After taking part in a identity parade at the local police station where Spudgun is being accused of stealing his mother Mrs. Potato's handbag, Richie and Eddie heads down to the Lamb and Flag pub where Richie gets into a argument with a one-legged Falklands war veteran, by pretending he also fought in the Falklands war and Richie and Eddie places a bet on a horse Sad Ken in a horse-race and gets the money from antiques dealer Ted in exchange for the one-legged Falklands war veteran's false leg.—Daniel Williamson
- Richie and Eddie volunteer for an identity parade, Richie accidentally insults a superior officer, Chief Inspector Grobbelaar. The culprits up for identification are Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog, Spudgun's mother Lil points out her son as the culprit for allegedly stealing her handbag, he borrowed it for a cross-dressing party, she is taken outside to be physically assaulted for frivolous charges.
Richie and Eddie head to the pub with the money from the parade and Richie takes a liking to the new barmaid, the two boys pose as health and safety looking for free tests, as are Spudgun and Hedgehog with Lil having faked the accusation to get some money. Richie tries to get some sympathy from the barmaid by claiming to be a Falklands War veteran, getting the attention of another customer, Stiles, who happened to have fought in the war, having a service medal and a prosthetic leg to prove it. A man staggers drunkenly out of the toilets, Richie identifies him as Tight-mouthed Larry, a local bookmaker.
Richie returns to his and Eddie's fake history as veterans, outrageous claims, such as fighting the war for ten years. Stiles is sick of Richie's unrealistic boasting and threatens to fight him, Richie accepts the challenge and loses to the cripple, the drunken Larry stops the fight because he needs someone to hold him up and he gives away a valuable betting tip on a winning horse, Sad Ken, a dead cert with odds of 100/1, he leaves.
Richie tells Eddie of an idea he has in the toilets, they'll steal Stiles' valuable false leg, pawn it and bet the money on the horse, buying the leg back with some of the winnings. They take the leg while Stiles is asleep, Eddie pawns it for £500 while Richie keeps Stiles distracted and drunk. Eddie and the others bet on the horse and quickly discover he is lame and very stupid and is shot on the track.
Eddie goes back to the pub to tell Richie, a now sober Larry and Dick the barman appear, they set up the punters and made a fortune out of it, and the new barmaid is Dick's niece, Veronica.
Richie realizes they can't buy back Stiles' leg and invites Eddie into the toilets to tell him of a new plan, which is to panic. They calm each other down with violence, Richie realizes they could mug someone to pay for the leg, they wait for the next user to come in and attack, it turns out to be Chief Inspector Grobbelaar.
The boys are back on parade, identified and the police are instructed to beat down on the two.
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