- [after hearing a swear word on TV]
- Fran Sinclair: I will not have that kind of gutter language in this house!
- Baby Sinclair: Smoo!
- [the whole family gasp in shock]
- Baby Sinclair: What'd I say?
- TV Announcer: The Friendly Bunny will not be seen tonight so that we may bring you the following brand new program quickly thrown together in a shameless grab for ratings.
- Earl Sinclair: Oh this should be good.
- TV Announcer: It's the Smoo Show!
- Baby Sinclair: *Smoo*!
- Baby Sinclair: Read me a story, Grandma Smoo.
- [laughs at the word]
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: Ah, you really think that's funny, don't you?
- Baby Sinclair: What, smoo? Smoo funny? Smoo. Smoo! Yeah, smoo funny!
- [laughs again at the word]
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: Call me when you clean up your act.
- [Ethyl leaves]
- Baby Sinclair: Smoo.
- B.P. Richfield: What did he call me?
- Earl Sinclair: Uh... He said Lou. You see he thinks of you as his sweet Uncle Lou.
- B.P. Richfield: My name is not Lou.
- Earl Sinclair: I know but don't you find the uncle part endearing?
- Earl Sinclair: [as new shows with foul language show on TV] TV has become the cesspool of vulgarity.
- [the Smoo Show intro]
- The Smoo Show Singers: [singing] We're sayin' 'smoo', ooh/'cause it's what we do/we're sayin' 'smoo', ooh/and it's just for you/smoo, smoo, smoo, smoo, smoo-oo-oo-oo!
- Baby Sinclair: Something's funny.
- Fran Sinclair: Nothing's funny!
- [turns off the TV]
- Fran Sinclair: Nothing's funny at all!
- Charlene Sinclair: But Mom, they said a dirty word on TV.
- Larry: Last night the TV was off, and for the first time ever I spent two solid hours playing with my kid.
- Neighbor No. 3: Yeah, my children and I spent the whole year evening taking to each other.
- Larry: It was a nightmare.
- Neighbor No. 3: I can't live this way.
- Larry: No!
- Neighbor No. 3: It's the network's fault!
- Baby Sinclair: I said something. Was it... .Smoo?
- Fran Sinclair: We don't say that word.
- Baby Sinclair: Why?
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: Because it's a bad word.
- Baby Sinclair: Why?
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: Because it's dirty.
- Baby Sinclair: Why?
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: Ask your mother.
- Baby Sinclair: Why?
- Fran Sinclair: Uh... .it means... .well, it means... . it means the bottom of a dinosaur's feet. And feet touch the ground and get dirty so... . it's a dirty word and nice dinosaurs don't say it.
- Baby Sinclair: Why?
- Fran Sinclair: Because it's not nice. And it certainly doesn't belong on TV.
- [both chuckling]
- Earl Sinclair: Oh, Fran, lighten up. You think dinosaurs have so little going on in their lives, that they'd really care about one little word some guy says on TV?
- Baby Sinclair: Daddy!
- Earl Sinclair: What?
- Baby Sinclair: Play a game?
- Earl Sinclair: Okay.
- Baby Sinclair: Goody!
- Earl Sinclair: Let's play, Where's Daddy.
- Earl Sinclair: Hey, kids. Is it off? Did they take it off yet?
- TV Announcer: The Smoo Show, now on seven nights a week.
- [Earl Sinclair moans]
- Robbie Sinclair: Nice day's work, Dad.
- Charlene Sinclair: Yeah.
- Earl Sinclair: Thanks, Mr. Negative. I'll have you know we were out planting the seeds of change. You just wait. Those seeds are gonna bear fruit.
- TV Announcer: Then, from the producers of The Smoo Show, it's The Flark Show followed by Kiss My Glick.
- Robbie Sinclair: Who can say, Dad? It's probably just a coincidence.
- Charlene Sinclair: Yeah, you got them on the run. A couple more protest raillies, they'll make it into a mini-series.
- Earl Sinclair: Ha, ha, ha. You have anything to say?
- Baby Sinclair: Flark, bad. Glick, bad.
- Earl Sinclair: There, see? My message got through.
- Baby Sinclair: Smoo? That's funny!
- [laughs]
- Earl Sinclair: Oh, this is so discouraging. TV has become the cesspool of vulgarity.
- Fran Sinclair: Then why don't you just turn it off?
- Earl Sinclair: Because, I shouldn't have to turn off my TV set, ever! I worked my whole life, I raised my family. I wanna be able to park them in front of the TV, and I know they're gonna watch good, clean, time-consuming, energy-sapping entertainment. So by the time I get home, they can barley wave hello.
- Fran Sinclair: Well, obviously, the TV network dosen't care how you feel.
- Earl Sinclair: Then I'm gonna have to go over their heads.
- [Earl Sinclair leaves]
- Baby Sinclair: You're a big smoo!
- [all gasp in shock]
- Fran Sinclair: Well, we'll just be going.
- B.P. Richfield: No, no, no. A big what?
- Earl Sinclair: A big shoe. Yeah, yeah. Shoes are his favourite... uh, foot covering. It's the ultimate compliment, really.
- Baby Sinclair: Not shoe, smoo! A big, fat smooey smoo!
- [laughs and B.P. Richfield groans and strains]
- Earl Sinclair: Not much you can do with that one.
- Fran Sinclair: I'm so sorry, Mr. Richfield. It's something he heard on television last night.
- Baby Sinclair: [in the house] It's not my bath time. What's going on?
- Fran Sinclair: We'll just see if we can't wash those dirty words out of your mouth with a little soap.
- Baby Sinclair: [mumbling] I don't like this.
- [Fran Sinclair takes the soap out of Baby Sinclair's mouth]
- Fran Sinclair: Now. Any dirty words left in there?
- [Baby Sinclair blows a bubble]
- Baby Sinclair: [bubble pops] Smoo!
- [laughs]
- Robbie Sinclair: Good work, Mom. I'm sure we've all learned a valuable lesson.
- [Baby Sinclair hiccups]
- Baby Sinclair: [bubble pops] Smoo!
- Fran Sinclair: Oh!
- [Baby Sinclair chuckles and door opens]
- Fran Sinclair: [Earl Sinclair groans] Hi, honey. Are you all right?
- [Earl Sinclair grumbles]
- Robbie Sinclair: Hey, Dad, some jerk put a sign on your back.
- Earl Sinclair: It was Mr. Richfield. And I think you kids called him enough names for one day.
- Robbie Sinclair: You're home now. Don't you think you can take it off?
- Earl Sinclair: I would, but it's covering an unsightly wound.
- [Earl Sinclair groans]
- Robbie Sinclair: Oh.
- Fran Sinclair: Earl Sneed Sinclair!
- Earl Sinclair: Oops.
- Fran Sinclair: I thought I told you to turn off that TV.
- Baby Sinclair: Smoo!
- Earl Sinclair: Oh! Fran, how did I know this was gonna be on? You never know what these network guys are gonna do.
- Fran Sinclair: That's right. So until we're sure it's safe, this TV stays off.
- [groans and turns off the TV]
- Fran Sinclair: You'll just have to spend some more quality time with your child.