- Earl: I know they just crawled out of the sludge and I hate to be critical of other life forms, but God, I hate lawyers.
- [Ethyl is happy because Earl has been challenged to a fight to the death by an animal nine times his size]
- Robbie Sinclair: But I like Dad.
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: No, you're just used to him.
- Robbie Sinclair: [Earl decides to fight Gary] Dad, are you sure about this? You saw Gary's sock.
- Earl: Bring on his socks, bring on his shorts, bring on the whole hamper!
- Earl: [picks up a sock near as big as him] What's this?
- Fran Sinclair: Gary's sock. He thinks I'm going to do his laundry.
- Earl: His laundry, he sent you - his sock? His foot? How many of these feet does this guy have?
- Fran Sinclair: I love Earl.
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: That's sweet.
- [beat]
- Grandma Ethyl Phillips: Okay, we've mourned long enough, what say we start cleaning out his closet?
- Earl: [to Gary] Maybe you should just go back where you came from.
- Fran Sinclair: And put those pine trees back where you found them!