- Patrick Quinn: Oh Mr. Hobson, nice threads! Have a date tonight eh?
- Gary Hobson: It's business, Patrick!
- Patrick Quinn: Oh... On Saturday night? Bummer!
- Marissa Clark: Business eh? You're wearing cologne...
- Gary Hobson: Even I comb my hair and shower once in a while...
- Marissa Clark: So... What's her name?
- Gary Hobson: Who?
- Marissa Clark: Your date.
- Gary Hobson: Wendy.
- Marissa Clark: I knew it! I want details!
- Gary Hobson: You want details? Well, she's about... oh let's say about ninety or a hundred foot long, she weighs about 90 tons
- [lowering his voice]
- Gary Hobson: 10:30 tonight she's gonna blow up in Lake Michigan...
- Marissa Clark: [Shrugging] Well, maybe you'll meet someone nice...
- Amber Lamonte: [to P.D. Brigatti who's pretending she's married to Gary] Oh I love your wedding ring!
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Oh thank you, my husband is the most generous man in the world. In fact, he's just bought me the Lermontov diamond for my honeymoon present.
- Paul Kettler: [Impressed] You didn't?
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: [Pinching Gary's cheek] Isn't he a sweetheart? I'll never forget Larry's words when he told me. He said...
- Gary Hobson: [Interrupting her] I got to pee!
- [Rushes out of the room]
- Amber Lamonte: [Fondly] Oh, what a romantic!
- Amber Lamonte: You know, it's been a pleasure meeting you two.
- [Quietly to P.D. Brigatti]
- Amber Lamonte: You are so lucky!
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: [With a forced laugh and loud enough so Gary can hear] Ah, believe me, I never thought I'd end up with a man like this...
- Amber Lamonte: [to Gary] Well if she hadn't snared you, I would grab you for myself!
- Gary Hobson: [Giving a mocking look to Brigatti] Well, fifty percent of all marriages end up in a divorce. We should stay in touch...
- Gary Hobson: [Angrily] I am not staying at the Hilton!
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Oh you, stop wailing. It's a four-star hotel and it's not going to cost you a penny!
- Gary Hobson: Yeah except for pain and suffering.
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Hobson!
- Gary Hobson: Listen, I'm going home and it's final!
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Ah, try it and you'll spend the night in a cell!
- Gary Hobson: For what?
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Obstruction of justice.
- Gary Hobson: It'll never stick!
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: You impersonated a police officer, Hobson... An officer involved in a delicate undercover operation! You want to explain that to the judge or you wanna come to the hotel with me?
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: [Gary's about to take a sip from his glass of champagne but Brigatti takes it away from him] No drinking on the job.
- Gary Hobson: What do you mean "no drinking on the job"? I'm on my honeymoon, remember?
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Honeymoon's over.
- Gary Hobson: Alright. When do you want me back?
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: [Seizing him by the arm] Oh no, you're not going anywhere!
- Gary Hobson: I'm not?
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: You're staying even if I have to handcuff you to that bed.
- Gary Hobson: [Sarcastically] That's a very interesting proposition, Brigatti but I...
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: Let's get things straight, Hobson. I don't like you. But I need you. Like I need a root canal from time to time. You have to present me with that Lemontov diamond tomorrow and until then I'm not letting you out of my sight.
- Gary Hobson: [Curtly, going to lie down on the bed] Alright... It looks like I'll have a terrific moment.
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: [Mocking laugh] You think you're sleeping there?
- [Takes his pillow from Gary and putting it on the couch]
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: THAT'S where you're sleeping...
- [Goes to the bathroom to get undressed. Then, realising Gary's watching her]
- Police Detective Toni Brigatti: In your dreams, Hobson!
- [Slams the door]