- Steve Urkel: Care to mop my brow?
- Laura: Forget it.
- Steve Urkel: No sweat, my pet?
- Laura: In your dreams.
- Steve Urkel: Hey, this is my dream!
- Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams.
- Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! I'm being rejected in my own fantasy.
- Eddie Winslow: I'd give anything to be like Steve Urkel!
- Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Face it, Eddie. There can only be one Steve Urkel in this world, and Steve Urkel is one of them.
- Rachel Crawford: What were the players doing when they weren't punching and gouging and slapping each other with those sticks?
- Greg Johnston: Oh, that? That was hockey!
- Greg Johnston: Rachel, I think you're terrific. In fact, so is your whole family. They're good, solid, salt-of-the-earth people.
- Carl Winslow: [Enters wearing a torn-up dress and broken high heels after an undercover assignment] Hehehehe! Hey Greg! Hey, Rachel! Great news: I got mugged!
- [Exciting laughing]
- Carl Winslow: Harriette is going to be so proud! Hey honey? Sweetheart? It worked! Hey Harriette?