Fawlty Towers (TV Series)

The Psychiatrist (1979)

Prunella Scales: Sybil Fawlty

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sybil Fawlty : Good evening, Mr. Johnson!

  Mr. Johnson : Evening! Any messages?

  Polly : Um, three, I think.

  Sybil Fawlty : Three! Everybody wants you, don't they?

  Mr. Johnson : [chuckles]  I wouldn't say that.

  Sybil Fawlty : Ah, well, you're only single once.

  Basil Fawlty : [calling from office]  Twice can be arranged.

• Sybil Fawlty : It's a relatively new profession, psychiatry, isn't it?

  Mrs. Abbott : Well, Freud started about 1880.

  Sybil Fawlty : Yes, but it's only now we're seeing them on the television.

• Sybil Fawlty : Old people are wonderful when they have so much life, aren't they? Gives us all hope, doesn't it? My mother on the other hand is a little bit of a trial, really. You know, it's alright when they have the lifeforce but Mother - well she's got more of the deathforce really. She's a worrier. She has these, well, morbid fears they are, really. Vans is one. Rats. Doorknobs. Birds. Heights. Open spaces. Confined spaces. It's very difficult getting the space right for her really, you know. Footballs. Bicycles. Cows. And she's always on about men following her, I don't know what she thinks they're going to do to her. Vomit on her, Basil says.

• Sybil Fawlty : I have had it up to here with you.

  Basil Fawlty : How, dear?

  Sybil Fawlty : You never get it right, do you? You're either crawling all over them, licking their boots, or spitting poison at them like some benzedrine puff adder.

  Basil Fawlty : Just trying to enjoy myself.

• Sybil Fawlty : Oh, and one word of advice: If you're going to grope a girl, have the gallantry to stay in the room with her while you're doing it. Mmmm?

• Sybil Fawlty : Do you really imagine, even in your wildest dreams, that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an aging, Brilliantined, stick-insect like you?

• Basil Fawlty : [to the Abbotts]  It's rather fascinating your both being doctors. Port for you, Doctor. Because, at one stage I was contemplating becoming a surgeon.

  Sybil Fawlty : [interjecting]  A tree surgeon. Ha-ha!

  Basil Fawlty : Thank you, Sybil.

  Sybil Fawlty : Had to give it up. Couldn't stand the sight of sap. Ha!

• Basil Fawlty : What in God's game are you... you doing? What did you hit me for?

  Sybil Fawlty : How dare you!

  [She slaps his face again] 

  Sybil Fawlty : How DARE you!

  Basil Fawlty : Have you gone mad? What's got into you?

  Sybil Fawlty : You really don't know?

  Basil Fawlty : No, I don't!

  Sybil Fawlty : What were you doing up that ladder? Come on!

  Basil Fawlty : I was trying to see the girl!

  Sybil Fawlty : What?

  Basil Fawlty : Is that so strange?

  [She slaps him again] 

  Basil Fawlty : STOP HITTING ME!

  Sybil Fawlty : Get away from this door and don't you dare come in here tonight!

• Basil Fawlty : The Abbotts. Charming couple.

  Sybil Fawlty : Yes, all three of them.

• Sybil Fawlty : I suppose the reason you confuse them with monkeys is that monkeys have fun. They know how to enjoy themselves. That's what makes them sexy, I suppose.

• Sybil Fawlty : She's frightened of death. I've told her there's nothing she can do about it. On about it the whole time, she is. I mean, nature can only take its course. The only thing you can hope for is that it won't be long drawn out and painful. But she can't accept that.

• Sybil Fawlty : Thank you, Mr. Abbott. Oh, Dr. Abbott, sorry.

  Basil Fawlty : Doctor?

  Dr. Abbott : Yes?

  Basil Fawlty : I'm terribly sorry, we hadn't been told. We hadn't been told you were a doctor.

  Dr. Abbott : Oh.

  Basil Fawlty : How do you do, Doctor? Very nice to have you with us, Doctor.

  Dr. Abbott : Thank you.

  Sybil Fawlty : You're in room five, Doctor.

  Basil Fawlty : And Mrs. Abbott, how do you do?

  Dr. Abbott : Dr. Abbott, actually.

  Basil Fawlty : I'm sorry?

  Dr. Abbott : Dr. Abbott.

  Mrs. Abbott : Two doctors.

  Basil Fawlty : You're two doctors?

  Mrs. Abbott : Yes.

  Basil Fawlty : Well, how did you become two doctors? It's most unusual. I mean, did you take the exam twice, or...

  Dr. Abbott : No. My wife's a doctor.

  Mrs. Abbott : I'm a doctor.

  Basil Fawlty : You're a doctor, too. So you're three doctors!

  Dr. Abbott : No, I'm just... I'm just one doctor. My wife is another doctor.

• Basil Fawlty : How old would you say she was, Sybil?

  Sybil Fawlty : 48, 50?

  Basil Fawlty : Oh, now, Sybil!

  Sybil Fawlty : I really don't know, Basil. Perhaps she's 12.

• Mrs. Abbott : Do you have a... a guide to Torquay?

  Basil Fawlty : A guide... Um, oh dear. I think we're out of them again.

  Mr. Johnson : Do you want to look at this one? I got it in town.

  Mrs. Abbott : Oh, thanks. Yes. "What's on in Torquay."

  Mr. Johnson : Yes. One of the world's shortest books.

  Basil Fawlty : What?

  Mr. Johnson : One of the world's shortest books. Like "The Wit of Margaret Thatcher", or "Great English Lovers".

  Sybil Fawlty : [laughing]  He's very funny, isn't he, Basil?