- Bootsie Weschester: Well, sometimes it's for the best when we don't win things. I read about a man who won all new wall-to-wall carpetin' that contained the teeniest unidentified larva that eventually caused him to paste a 26-foot tapeworm from his body.
- Carlotta Beck: Were you aware, Marshall, that there is no valet parking at K-Mart?
- Marshall Beck: No, I wasn't.
- Carlotta Beck: Then you also prob'ly did not know that people look real stupid drivin' their own limousines!
- Marshall Beck: Do you realize that if we start takin' the soap dispensers from service station restrooms and start usin' 'em right here in our home, we can save enough money in ten years to pay for that yacht slip in Palm Beach! It wouldn't really be like stealin'. I mean, after all, the kind of people that use those restrooms prob'ly don't wash their hands anyway.
- Marshall Beck: What is that anyway?
- Carlotta Beck: A Dukes of Hazzard belt buckle. I don't know what got into me. Bootsie said it was the special of the day. Everyone was buyin' it, there was only one left. I became confused and forced it out of a small child's hand!
- Carlotta Beck: Please, Marshall, don't make me stand in another checkout line - not even for wholesale caviar! It's a jungle out there: fat people overflowin' their rubber shoes with unkempt hair and babies that sneeze Fudgsicle juice on ya!
- Kathleen Beck: Really, Carlotta, you should learn how to rub elbows with the little people more often. After all, this country was built on the common man.
- Carlotta Beck: Yes, not unlike your reputation.
- Kathleen Beck: Anyway, I just came by to tell you some fantastic news.
- Carlotta Beck: Have you decided to move away, change your name and never contact us again as long as you shall live?
- Kathleen Beck: No.
- Carlotta Beck: Then you do not have fantastic news.
- Kathleen Beck: Why, even Bootsie says...
- Carlotta Beck: If you don't mind, Kathleen, we prefer not to seriously consider the opinion of a woman whose dog wears hot pants.