- Dr. Frasier Crane: I was interested in her.
- Dr. Niles Crane: How was I supposed to know?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I was speaking German.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh yes, the language of love.
- Claire French: Frasier, I wanted to ask you something. Saturday night, are you free?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Only with a coupon.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Daphne punched me in her sleep last night. Honestly, she is the most aggressive sleeper I have ever known.
- Martin Crane: Oh, don't worry about it. Sounds to me like you guys are still finding your sleeping groove.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Sleeping groove?
- Martin Crane: Yeah. First six months your mother and I were together, we were like Dempsey and Tunney! You see, Dempsey and Tunney were...
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh Dad, please, I know a little something about vaudeville.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [handing Claire a glass of wine] Here we are. This is one of my favorites!
- Claire French: That's so sweet of you, but Neil just brought me a glass.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, this one, yes. That's a delightful little wine. But this happens to be a Bavaresco Diam, the greatest Italian red since Roberto Rossellini!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You know, I've got a good feeling about this one.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Oh Frasier, you always have a good feeling. You think it's going to be perfect, and then when she turns out not to be the Kierkegaard-reading, soufflé-baking, haiku-writing cellist, you're disappointed. You have to learn to settle.
- Daphne Moon: [to Niles] What does that mean?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Daphne punched me in her sleep last night. Honestly, she is the most aggressive sleeper I have ever known.
- Martin Crane: Ah, you being a psychiatrist, you probably think she's acting out some form of repressed hostility towards you.
- Dr. Niles Crane: That was the furthest thing from my mind... till now.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I blew it.
- Lana Gardner: Not necessarily. I mean, I think you guys could make a great couple. In fact, I might be able to help you out there.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Really? Would you?
- Lana Gardner: Well, I could, but you know I get asked that all the time, and if I did it for you, then I'd have to do it for everybody, and I just don't know if I want to open those floodgates. You know what I mean?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [He does - quid pro quo] I think I do.
- Lana Gardner: Kirby needs a passing grade in history.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I can't guarantee that.
- Lana Gardner: No passing grade, no Claire.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: All right, an hour on Tuesdays.
- Lana Gardner: Two hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Two hours on Tuesdays, no Thursdays.
- Lana Gardner: Three on Tuesdays.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Done. Happy birthday.
- Lana Gardner: [They shake on it] Thank you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [opens textbook] So, which chapter are you on?
- Kirby: Whoa, is that my book?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I see - Chapter 1.