Green Acres (TV Series)
Our Son, the Barber (1968)
Eddie Albert: Oliver Wendell Douglas
Quotes
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Windy Hinkle : [Arnold the pig arrives oinking just as Oliver gets in the barber's chair] I'm sorry. Mr. Douglas. Arnold is next.
Oliver Wendell Douglas : What?
Windy Hinkle : Well, he - he called for an appointment.
Oliver Wendell Douglas : How could he call?
Windy Hinkle : He won't take too long. You see, all he gets is a bay rum spray. Keeps him dainty.
Oliver Wendell Douglas : He can wait a few minutes to be dainty. I'm next!
[to Arnold]
Oliver Wendell Douglas : Sit down. Read a magazine.
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Eustace Charleton Haney : It's the latest wrinkle in barbering equipment!
[barber's chair on the back of his truck begins shaking]
Eustace Charleton Haney : It vibrates away the customer's cares while he's getting his hair cut. I bet you ain't seen anything shimmy like that since Gilda Gray!
Oliver Wendell Douglas : No, I haven't.
Eustace Charleton Haney : It'll pay for itself in three months with the loose change it vibrates out of the customer's pockets.
Oliver Wendell Douglas : Goodbye, Mr. Haney.
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Oliver Wendell Douglas : Who's There?
[the Douglas Family is in bed when a knock occurred at the Bedroom closet sliding door]
Eb Dawson : Me. Can I come in?
[the Douglas pair are in bed reading at the time. Oliver "Forty Years A Farmer." Lisa is reading "WHO'S WHO."]
Oliver Wendell Douglas : Yes. Come in.