Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law (TV Series)

Very Personal Injury (2001)

Gary Cole: Harvey Birdman, Judge Hiram Mightor

Quotes 

• Harvey Birdman : When I say the word "superhero", what names come to mind? Wonder Woman. Aquaman. Superman. Birdman. These are names...

  Juror : [interrupting]  Uh, excuse me, I don't think of Birdman.

  Harvey Birdman : Not my point...

• [Avenger is making a kettle of tea in the background] 

  Apache Chief : Well, I saved the town the other day, and uh... I saved the town and, anyway, afterwards I thought, "Man, a coffee would be nice." But, uh, I spilled it on my... lap.

  Harvey Birdman : Mmm-hmm.

  [the tea kettle whistle begins to sound] 

  Apache Chief : And, uh, wow, it was... hot. On my lap.

  Harvey Birdman : I'll bet...

  Apache Chief : Hotness... Crotch... Ouch!

  Harvey Birdman : Yeah, I... Ohhhh! W - Are you trying to say...?

  Apache Chief : I can no longer... enlarge.

  [the tea kettle whistle plaintively decays into silence] 

  Harvey Birdman : [crossing his legs and wincing]  Oh! Ohhh! Ohhhhh! Let's all go to the mountains, huh?

  [Apache Chief watches apprehensively as Avenger walks by with the tea service] 

  Harvey Birdman : I'll take the case! Nothing, huh? Not even first thing in the morning; little neeneeneeneeneey?

• Harvey Birdman : You stated that you had express knowledge of one of the more familiar Superfriend's whereabouts - a Wonder Woman, I believe?

  Zan : Um, that's correct. Uh, she was at home.

  Harvey Birdman : Any idea why she wouldn't have answered the town's distress call?

  Zan : Well, she said she really needed some, "me time." So she unplugged her communicator and... and took a bath.

  Harvey Birdman : How do you happen to know this?

  Zan : I was... I, I was the bathwater.

  [Flashback to Wonder Woman taking a bath and Zan as the water] 

  Zan : [giggles]  Form of a washrag!