Home Improvement (TV Series)

'Twas the Night Before Chaos (1994)

M. Emmet Walsh: Col. Fred Patterson

Quotes 

• Colonel Fred Patterson : [calling from the next room]  Lilian! Where'd you put my tape of Patton? I wanna show it to the boys when they get back.

  Mrs. Lillian Patterson : I threw it out the window in St. Louis.

  Colonel Fred Patterson : If you're serious, we're going back to get it!

• Randy : [watching the movie "Patton", with babies Claire and Gracie on the Colonel's lap]  Speaking of powerful, I think one of those babies just dropped a bomb.

  Nancy : There they are.

  The Colonel : They were crying, so I decided to calm them down by letting them watch Patton's invasion of North Africa.

  Nancy : At home we just put them to sleep with old 'Tool Time' tapes.

  Jill : [looks to the babies]  Oh, somebody's stinking up the joint over here.

  Brad : [accusingly]  Randy!