The IT Crowd (TV Series)

The Red Door (2006)

Richard Ayoade: Maurice Moss

Photos 

Quotes 

• Moss : Richmond's-out-of-his-room-he's-not-in-his-room-he's-supposed-to-be-in-his-room-why-is-he-out-of-his-room?

• Moss : Jiminy! Jones! Look, the nature of the thing that is happening has changed slightly, rendering it yet more interesting!

• Moss : [laughing]  Oh, dear me.

  Jen : What are you laughing at?

  Moss : This flipping circuit board, Jen. Some chump has run the data lines right through the power supply. Amateur hour! I've got tears in my eyes!

• Moss : Would I blow everyone's mind if I ate dessert first?

• Roy : You can't upset the harmony of the place.

  Jen : Harmony? What harmony?

  Roy : I know that the place looks like a bit of a mess but its actually a very delicate ecosystem.

  Moss : Ecosystem

  [makes circular motion with hands] 

  Roy : Everything is connected.

  Moss : Connected

  [mimes being connected] 

  Roy : It's like the rainforest.

  Moss : Much like the rainforest

  [mimes rain falling] 

  Roy : You change one thing...

  Moss : [holds up one finger] 

  Roy : ...even the tiniest bit, and the whole rainforest dies.

  Moss : [mimes hanging himself] 

• Jen : Can I ask you two a question?

  Roy : Please, Christ, yes!

  Moss : Wait, wait, one moment. Wait.

  [goes to computer] 

  Moss : OK, go.

  Jen : How can you two live like this?

  Moss : "How can you two...

  Roy : Don't Google the question, Moss!

• Moss : Roy's stuck under a desk.

  Jen : Stuck under a desk?

  Moss : Yes, that is an unusual text isn't it, it isn't just me.

• Moss : Notice anything?

  Roy : What?

  Moss : Guess.

  Roy : Your eyes? Something wrong with your eyes.

  Moss : What? No, I have a new cup. What's wrong with my eyes?

  Roy : It's not very distinctive, is it? How's anyone supposed to know it's yours?

  Moss : There's a picture of me on it.

  Roy : ...No there isn't!

  Moss : Yes, there is.

  Roy : No, there isn't Moss.

  Moss : Yes, there is. I am sick of my things going walkabout. With this picture, everyone knows that a certain Mr Moss might be looking for his cup.

  Roy : There is nothing on the cup!

  Moss : Wrangle with him, and you will find your hands full, my friend.

  Roy : Wrangle with who? There's no one there!

  [a few minutes later] 

  Moss : Ask me where it is.

  Roy : Where what is?

  Moss : The picture.

  Roy : OK. Where's the picture, Moss?

  Moss : It's on the base, Roy.