- Grace Van Owen: You set me up!
- Charles Craft: Grace, take it easy.
- Grace Van Owen: Don't Grace me. It is sheer blind luck, I wasn't gunned down, you bastard!
- Charles Craft: You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. How is that my fault?
- Grace Van Owen: If you'd had told me, we had a third partner or who he was or what he expected of us. If I had known any of it, I never would have been in that restaurant in the first place.
- Charles Craft: I had no choice.
- Grace Van Owen: Why?
- Charles Craft: John Vincent is not a guy you say no to.
- Grace Van Owen: I did, Charlie. I said no. You could have, too.
- Charles Craft: I'm sorry. What can I do to make things right between us?
- Grace Van Owen: You betrayed our friendship. Nothing. Nothing you can do makes that right.
- Charles Craft: Grace, I'm not proud of myself or what I've become. The guy's dead. It gives us a chance to start over with a clean slate.
- Grace Van Owen: You start over, Charlie, alone.
- Charles Craft: Please. I wish you'd reconsider.
- Grace Van Owen: Not a chance.
- Charles Craft: What do you do?
- Grace Van Owen: I don't know. Maybe nothing. Maybe go back to the D.A.'s office.
- Charles Craft: Grace, I, uh, I know you know this, but... what he told you before the shooting? About owning us, financing us? If any of that stuff ever got around, wouldn't be too great for either one of us.
- Grace Van Owen: I appreciate your deep concern for my welfare, Charlie.
- [Grace bids goodbye and exit the door]
- Stuart Markowitz: We'd had pretty much written it off until we got a call from Detective Majeski saying that there'd been a break in the case.
- Jack Debente: And what else did the Detective tell you?
- Stuart Markowitz: That they had a recovered my watch and they had a suspect in custody, and would we please come down and identify him through photographs which we did.
- Jack Debente: And were you able to make a positive identification of the man who robbed you?
- Stuart Markowitz: Yes.
- Jack Debente: And is the man you identified in this courtroom?
- Stuart Markowitz: [Pointing the finger] There he is. Right there, that's the man.
- Jack Debente: The record will show that the witness has identified the defendant. Robert Alden. No further questions.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Now according to the report you gave the police, the man who accosted you was 6 foot or over. But, uh, Mr. Alden's only 5 foot 10 1/2 inches.
- Stuart Markowitz: So call me a liar for inch an half.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Well, if you like that characterization, okay.
- Stuart Markowitz: Look, I'm 5 feet 5 1/2. A lot of people look taller to me.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: So you're saying that your diminutive stature makes you a less than reliable observer.
- Stuart Markowitz: No.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: But you'll acknowledge there's a discrepancy here.
- Stuart Markowitz: Yeah... No!
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: You also said the man wore a mustache.
- Stuart Markowitz: Now, I'm not sure about that. Um... I think actually he may have shaved it off.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Well, my question is, Mr. Markowitz, did he or did he not have a mustache. Why the hesitancy, Mr. Markowitz? Is it because you can't remember? Or is it because you and your wife were so drunk that night you can't be certain who you saw.
- Stuart Markowitz: What?
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Well, you testified, you were on your way back from dinner now. Didn't you share a bottle of wine. In fact, you two guys were pretty looped, weren't you.
- Stuart Markowitz: No, that's not the case.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Come on, Mr. Markowitz.
- Stuart Markowitz: Wait a minute!
- Ann Kelsey: Objection, stop putting words in his mouth.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Your Honor.
- Judge Austin Lyne: Mrs. Markowitz.
- Ann Kelsey: He's posing compound questions and brow-beating the witness.
- Judge Austin Lyne: You are not the attorney of record here. Sit down.
- Jack Debente: Come on.
- Ann Kelsey: You can't let him get away with that.
- Jack Debente: I'm not going to.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Mr. Markowitz, given the trouble you're having with all this, how can you tell us that Robert Alden is the man who robbed you?
- Stuart Markowitz: We weren't drunk and I'm almost positive that's the man.
- Lawyer Felix Echeverria: Well, almost positive doesn't put an innocent man in jail, Mr. Markowitz. Not until they suspend the Constitution. Nothing further.
- Stuart Markowitz: What was I supposed to do, lie?
- Ann Kelsey: I'm not accusing you, Stuart!
- Stuart Markowitz: [arguing] You are accusing me!
- Ann Kelsey: I'm not, you did the best you could. I just wish you hadn't let him walk over you, that's all.
- Stuart Markowitz: Oh, and you were so forceful, jumping up and objecting like that.
- Ann Kelsey: Would you mind? Let's not have a fight in the middle of a cafeteria, okay.
- Stuart Markowitz: Where would you rather have a fight?
- Cashier: $4.35.
- [Ann pays $5.00 for their lunches. The cashier gives Ann changes]
- Ann Kelsey: Let's just drop it, Stuart.
- Stuart Markowitz: Don't want to talk about it, fine.
- Ann Kelsey: Good.
- Stuart Markowitz: Fine.
- Abby Perkins: Morning, Benny.
- Benny Stulwicz: Good Morning.
- Victor Sifuentes: Good Morning.
- Benny Stulwicz: Victor, I'm going out on a date tonight.
- Victor Sifuentes: No kidding!
- Benny Stulwicz: Yeah, I met this girl named Ivy at the center, and we're going out on a date. We're taking the bus to Lum's Shanghai Gardens to have dinner and then we're gonna go look in the stores on Melrose.
- Abby Perkins: Sounds like fun.
- Benny Stulwicz: Oh, yeah.
- Abby Perkins: When did you ask her out?
- Benny Stulwicz: Yesterday. Boy, was I nervous too.
- Victor Sifuentes: I never asked a girl out when I wasn't.
- Benny Stulwicz: She has really nice curly brown hair.
- Victor Sifuentes: You like that, huh?
- Benny Stulwicz: Yeah, I do.
- Abby Perkins: Stuart, what's happening with the yuppie bandit?
- Stuart Markowitz: They are accelerating the trial date that we start tomorrow.
- Douglas Brackman, Jr.: How long should we figure you two will be tied up with that?
- Ann Kelsey: Oh, I don't guess more than a day or two.
- Douglas Brackman, Jr.: If we can proceed, Ken Hohl vs.12 Tin Fish Decoys.
- Jonathan Rollins: Action for specific performance - the delivery of antiques bought at auction. I'm in depositions all week.
- Douglas Brackman, Jr.: Adelman vs. Macks.
- Victor Sifuentes: We've instructed the marshal to impound the judgment that is automobiles unless bond's posted by 5'clock.
- Douglas Brackman, Jr.: Seiling vs. Steinmetz-Needham Productions.
- Arnie Becker: Yeah, hearing for an injunction is scheduled for 2 o'clock.
- Michael Kuzak: Sounds like a loser.
- Victor Sifuentes: You know, I can't believe that a T.V. actor's going into court because he's unhappy with his part?
- Leland McKenzie: [laughing] What's the name of this show?
- Arnie Becker: Consenting Adults.
- Ann Kelsey: I never even heard of it.
- Arnie Becker: That's the producers' whole problem. You see that they've got great reviews, but there are in a tough time slot and they can't get sample so if the numbers don't improve... they're history.
- Michael Kuzak: I would think that Jack Seiling would do anything he could boost the ratings?
- Arnie Becker: Maybe he doesn't want to go around the rest of his life prancing around his cocktail dress. You know, the public doesn't know how to differentiate between an actor and the role he plays. To millions of people, Raymond Burr will always be a lawyer, Vince Edward is a doctor, Jack Webb a cop.
- Stuart Markowitz: Laird Cregar, a psychotic detective. Nobody remembers I wake up screaming?
- Leland McKenzie: Well, before we adjourn, Michael, how's Gracie?
- Michael Kuzak: Oh, she's OK. She's, uh... She's spending some time at home, taking it easy.
- Victor Sifuentes: You got any leads on the shooter?
- Michael Kuzak: No, and all she saw was the gun.
- Abby Perkins: She afraid they gonna come after her?
- Arnie Becker: Nothing, if they'd wanted to hit her, they'd have done it when they had a chance.
- Ann Kelsey: Still, it's going to through her mind.
- Michael Kuzak: Yeah, it does.
- Leland McKenzie: Is she going back to work?
- Michael Kuzak: Well, she's thinking about it. I don't think right away though.
- Ann Kelsey: I can't imagine what her state of mind must be after something like that.
- Michael Kuzak: Ah, pretty shaky for the first couple of days but she's work her way through it. You know, she's in better shape than I am.
- Arnie Becker: And what we have here is an Executive Producer. Using her power to ruin the career of my client.
- Carol Koyama: All we have is an actor vested with no creative control whatsoever trying to stop a telecast.
- Arnie Becker: Making him a crossdresser is gonna cause irreparable harm, Your Honor. And take a look at the picture that they're releasing to the newspapers.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Isn't it a little late to be squawking now, Mr. Becker? The episode supposed to air in 2 days.
- Arnie Becker: My client was assured that it would be cut and edited to have socially redeeming value.
- Carol Koyama: Give me a break.
- Arnie Becker: But what has resulted is a trashy piece of evidence of exploitation deliberately designed at destroying his career.
- Carol Koyama: How can you stand here as an officer of the court and lie like that?
- Arnie Becker: It's the truth, Your Honor, Miss Needham has been recklessly vindictive and I won't stand for it.
- Carol Koyama: You're the ones being vindictive here.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: All right! Quiet.
- [Two attorneys stop arguring]
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Mr. Becker, I see no contractual right which allows your guy to control the creative development of the character he plays.
- Arnie Becker: Your Honor, there's an implied covenant of good faith in every contract and she has breached it with this malicious attempt to stain his image.
- Carol Koyama: Your Honor, I know it's unusual, but I'd like to put my client on the stand.
- Arnie Becker: What?
- Judge Douglas McGrath: This is not an evidentiary hearing.
- Carol Koyama: I know that. But the issue concerns enjoining a program that costs over $1,000,000 to produce. Now before you consider such an extraordinary remedy, I'd like you to be fully informed.
- Arnie Becker: Fine, I demand the right to cross-examine and a one-day continuance to prepare.
- Carol Koyama: Oh, please.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Hey, if you want to stick her up here, then he's got the right to cross. We'll convene tomorrow at 10 a.m. Now both of you leave, and take the media with you.
- Jamie Needham: It would be self-defeating for me to ruin his image. The success of our show depends on a large part on his public appeal.
- Carol Koyama: And you didn't feel that it would be compromising that appeal to have him dress in women's clothing?
- Jamie Needham: It's a nighttime soap. All our characters have perversities. And our viewers love them.
- Carol Koyama: Thank you, Miss Needham. That's all.
- Arnie Becker: Miss Needham, isn't it true that you and my client engaged in a bitter contract dispute before this season?
- Jamie Needham: It was negotiations. I certainly harbor no bitterness.
- Arnie Becker: Oh, come on, Miss Needham. One of his demands was they direct 3 episodes next year, right? And you found that totally unacceptable, didn't you?
- Jamie Needham: I objected to the notion of an actor being vested with directing responsibilities, yes.
- Arnie Becker: And the network forced you to cave in because they knew he was more important to the show than you, right?
- Carol Koyama: Objection, what's the relevance of this?
- Arnie Becker: I'll tell you the relevance. She perceives my client as a threat to her control. So she is trying to humiliate him with storylines to induce him to breach his contract.
- Jamie Needham: He's no threat to me, I made him.
- Jack Seiling: You made me?
- Arnie Becker: Jack.
- Jack Seiling: You didn't make me.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Sit down, Mr. Seiling, or I'll throw you out of here.
- Jamie Needham: I had just write you out completely. I would win an Emmy for it.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Miss Needham.
- Jack Seiling: I'll stop the whole damn show.
- Jamie Needham: You'll do what I tell you to do.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Miss Needham.
- Arnie Becker: Your Honor, this woman's malice is self-evident.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: Everybody shut up.
- Arnie Becker: Judge, I'd like to call my client to the stand now.
- Carol Koyama: What?
- Judge Douglas McGrath: This is a motion session, Mr. Becker, not a trial. And your case is so weak I don't see what possible good it would do?
- Arnie Becker: I know it's unorthodox, Judge, but she's had a chance to have her say. I think in the interests of justice, Mr. Seiling should have his chance, as well.
- Carol Koyama: Well, then I'm gonna want a day to prepare just like he got.
- Judge Douglas McGrath: All right, we reconvene tomorrow at 10.00 A.M. And this is the last day. I mean it. I'm gonna give this guy 10 minutes and that's it. After that, no more witnesses.
- Michael Kuzak: Have you gone nuts?
- Arnie Becker: Look, technically Jack Seiling instructed me to bring that action. It is not incumbent on the lawyer to flush up the motives of his client.
- Michael Kuzak: Oh, come on, Arnie, you're a player on the scam here.
- Arnie Becker: A completely harmless one where nobody gets hurt, and more importantly nobody gets caught.
- Michael Kuzak: That's not the point and you know it.
- Arnie Becker: It is the point, Michael. Everybody's around here is worried about the firm's exposure. I'm telling you, there is none.
- Michael Kuzak: Our concern is the dishonesty, Arnie.
- Arnie Becker: Hey, look I could've kept the big fee for myself. Paid the firm my hourly rate and nobody would have been the wiser but I didn't. Because fundamentally, I'm not dishonest. Fundamentally I do care about the people around here. I'm telling you this is a huge inroad into entertainment law for us. A entire new practice.
- Michael Kuzak: And I'm telling you that we don't want it that bad.
- Arnie Becker: Thank you very much for all the support. But since nobody elected you moral guardian, why don't you just to go preaching someplace else?
- Michael Kuzak: You really dont' get this, do you?