Law & Order (TV Series)
Couples (2003)
Jerry Orbach: Detective Lennie Briscoe
Quotes
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : Can't say I blame his brother. I've known Rafael less than a day and I want to kill him.
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Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers : [referring to murder victim] Tox screen shows she had one drink, tops. No signs of sex.
Detective Lennie Briscoe : Sounds like my last date.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : [while Rafael Celaya is moaning in the back of the police car] From what I've been told, at least I was a happy drunk.
Detective Ed Green : From what I've been told, I wouldn't go that far.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : Three deaths and a kidnapping. I'm only on my second cup of coffee!
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Detective Ed Green : You were cheating on your husband with Reynaldo, and Marcela was cheating on Reynaldo with somebody else. Am I getting this right?
Patricia Botten : Happens all the time, at least around here.
Detective Lennie Briscoe : And all this time I've been living in the wrong housing complex.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : [about to assist in an emergency childbirth] All right, uh, bring me some towels and boil some water.
Detective Ed Green : Do doctors really do that?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : George Clooney does, and that's good enough for me.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : [referring to Rafael Celaya] Married and a Mets fan. He's a glutton for punishment.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : Was it Cain who slept with Abel's wife, or the other way around? I forget.
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Lt. Anita Van Buren : [referring to babies] She couldn't have one of her own, so she figured she'd take someone else's?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : Worked for Tony B.
Detective Ed Green : Who's that?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : Took my bike when I was 12.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : Love: a devastating disease instantly cured by marriage.
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Maitre D' : [referring to the victim and her husband] She gave him a big hug.
Detective Lennie Briscoe : No kiss?
Maitre D' : You married?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : I've toyed with the notion.
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Detective Ed Green : How do you suppose Rafael put in his eight hours at the office and had dinner with the missus at the same time?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : If I knew, maybe I could have held onto wife number two.
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Don Perazzo's mistress : [after Don Parazzo has been run over by his wife] You know, he just leased that Cadillac for her about a month ago?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : Turns out a Volkswagen might have been a safer bet.
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Rafael Celaya : [referring to the victim] She was an evil woman, you know? She was married to Reynaldo and she was cheating on him.
Detective Ed Green : With you!
Rafael Celaya : She'd cheat on him. She'd cheat on me soon enough!
Detective Lennie Briscoe : You guys are weird, Rafael, but it's hard to believe you're that weird.
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : [as he cuffs and arrests a whining suspect] You have the right to remain silent... PLEASE!
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Detective Ed Green : [answering his cellphone, about to go home after the dealing with three murders and one kidnapping in one day] We've got a jumper!
Detective Lennie Briscoe : I may join him.
[cut to closing credits]
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Detective Lennie Briscoe : [shirt soaked, after arresting Reynaldo Celaya in a carwash] Does this say wash and wear?
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Lt. Anita Van Buren : Speaking of the kidnapping, what's the gas station attendant say?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : He cleaned the bathroom first thing this morning, so the message was probably written sometime today.
Lt. Anita Van Buren : Do you believe him?
Detective Lennie Briscoe : An Eminem CD is as much trouble as this kid wants to be in.