Law & Order: Criminal Intent (TV Series)

Chinoiserie (2002)

Frank Wood: George Weems

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Weems : He called me. He said his name was Jean, that he saw me in this Gilbert and Sullivan thing, and that he wanted me to play some Brit Eurotrash, Lord Pembridge.

  Alexandra Eames : For what? A movie?

  George Weems : Performance art. Improvisational.

  Detective Robert Goren : Who were the other actors?

  George Weems : I don't know. I was meeting them today.

  Alexandra Eames : Where was this performance to take place?

  George Weems : In real settings. They were picking me up and driving out to JFK, and it was gonna go from there. Jean said they had a room for me at the St. Francis. That if anybody asked, I was Lord Pembridge.

  Detective Robert Goren : And you thought you were part of the performance.

  George Weems : Yes.

  Detective Robert Goren : [Sardonically]  It never occurred to you that something illegal was afoot?

  George Weems : I'm an actor. I'm constantly broke. It was a couple of nights at the St. Francis. It sounded like fun.

  Detective Robert Goren : Fantastic.

• Detective Robert Goren : Lord Pembridge?

  Alexandra Eames : Could we speak to you for a minute?

  George Weems : Well... dear, I don't know what for.

  Alexandra Eames : It's about some packages that were delivered to you.

  George Weems : Packages? I wouldn't know anything about packages.

  Detective Robert Goren : Where are you from, Lord Pembridge?

  George Weems : From? Ah, my family's estate is just outside a little town called Leeds.

  Detective Robert Goren : "A little town called Leeds." And what's the purpose of your visit here?

  George Weems : Pleasure. And friends.

  Alexandra Eames : What friends?

  George Weems : Oh, well, I just had a dinner for Mick and the boys. Sent them off on their world tour. And then I saw Gwynnie and Hugh. Lovely people, just lovely.

  Detective Robert Goren : Cut it out.

  [to Eames] 

  Detective Robert Goren : Isn't that the worst English accent you've ever heard?

  Alexandra Eames : Next to the Irish Spring guy, it's the worst accent, period.

  George Weems : I beg your pardon!

  Detective Robert Goren : This mishmash of Cockney, Welsh, but miraculously I think I heard a shred of the north of England in one of your R's.

  Alexandra Eames : There are so many sounds in there, how can you tell?

  George Weems : Really, you are absurd.

  Detective Robert Goren : I don't think he's trained.

  George Weems : [dropping the accent]  Well, of course I'm trained, with Strasberg himself. I suppose you went to Yale. Now, are we gonna play this or what?

  Alexandra Eames : [reaching for her handcuffs]  No, we're gonna play this.

  George Weems : Is that a real gun? Oh my God, you're really cops, aren't you?