Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Election (2005)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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[while Stottlemeyer and Monk question Harold Krenshaw, Stottlemeyer takes a bite of a coconut donut]
Harold Krenshaw : Now you have to eat a sugar one.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Don't want a sugar one.
Adrian Monk : Then you could take three more coconuts and two chocolate.
Harold Krenshaw : Or two coconuts and two glazed.
Adrian Monk : Or he could just eat all of them. That would be easier.
Harold Krenshaw : That's a good idea.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Or, I can do this.
[takes the box, mashes it, then folds it in half, and pokes a hole in the middle]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : There. Now there's *one* donut. One big damn donut.
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[Monk, Natalie, and Randy have barely avoided a grenade explosion. Stottlemeyer talks to Monk]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Disher told me that you put the grenade in the refrigerator.
Adrian Monk : Oh. Yeah.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : And then he said, you went back and opened it again. You just had to straighten something out, didn't you?
[Monk shrugs]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I'm going ask the mayor to give you a medal for what you did, and then I'm going to ask the mayor to take that medal back, because you just had to open that door.
Adrian Monk : It's a wash, isn't it?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : It's a wash.
Adrian Monk : Captain, that grenade... had Russian markings on it.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah I know, we found a piece of it. It was made in Chechnya. This guy must be very well connected. Whoever he is, you must be making him nervous.
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Adrian Monk : [about Harold Krenshaw] I told you. He will drive you crazy.
Lt. Randall Disher : So is he the guy?
Adrian Monk : No. I wish he was, but he's not the guy. He never would have misspelled Natalie's name on the note.
Capt. Stottlemeyer : How do you know?
Adrian Monk : Because, even I wouldn't have.
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Lt. Randall Disher : Witnesses are all over the map. Some say they heard five shots; some say nine.
Adrian Monk : Fourteen. There were fourteen shots.
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Are you sure? Well, of course you're sure. How did they come? Were they evenly spaced?
[Monk recites the timing]
Adrian Monk : Bang. Bang bang. Bang. Bang bang bang bang bang...
Capt. Stottlemeyer : Rapid fire, semi-automatic.
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[Monk is interviewed by a reporter]
Reporter : Why did you decide to volunteer?
Adrian Monk : I'm not a volunteer. I'm her boss.
Reporter : Ah. That's an interesting angle. Not every boss would allow his employee time off to run for office.
Adrian Monk : I didn't have a choice. She just said that she was doing it.
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[Monk walks into Stottlemeyer's office]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [not looking up from his desk] Don't you ever get tired of being right?
Adrian Monk : I do feel tired. More fatigued, really. I don't know if it's from being right or...
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : It was a rhetorical question, Monk. We might be on to something here.
[hands Monk a file]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Jack Whitman. He's been sent up twice, first time for mail fraud and receiving stolen property. Lately, he's been importing rugs.
[Monk looks up from reading the file]
Adrian Monk : Rugs?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yeah, rugs from places like Chechnya, Uzbekistan. Sound familiar?
Adrian Monk : [with realization] The shell casing and the grenade.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : The Feds think that he's a major arms dealer. They raided his office six months ago. They came up empty-handed - no guns, no nothing, no paper trail - All they could get him on was tax evasion. He did five months. He just got out last Wednesday.
Adrian Monk : And two days later, he's on a roof taking shots at Natalie.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Then he joins her campaign, and then he tries to take you out?
Adrian Monk : What do you think he's after?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I'm not gonna find out. Let's go get him.
Adrian Monk : I can't go. You're on your own. Natalie's waiting for me downstairs. I have to go vote.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well, that's good. You're doing your civic duty.
Adrian Monk : There's that. Also, if I don't vote, Natalie will - you know.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I know.
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Natalie Teeger : [watching children play on a school playground] Brings back memories, huh?
Adrian Monk : Yeah... but what are you gonna do?