- Sandy Cohen: I've always liked Luke. He's like a big Golden Retriever.
- Ryan Atwood: Actually, he kinda is.
- Caleb Nichol: I don't get it. His best friend leaves, so he runs off with another boy and his gay dad? You've got to admit, it sounds kind of strange.
- Sandy Cohen: And this coming from a guy who is one click away from wearing a wig and a fake moustache.
- Seth: Here's the thing, though. I hate it there. I'm never coming back to Orange County. Now, if you and Dad want to move to, I don't know, say anywhere else on the planet, then we can talk.
- Kirsten: He used to be such a sweet kid.
- Sandy Cohen: And he's turning out to be quite the angry young man.
- Sandy Cohen: Sometimes the best thing for a kid is to have some space.
- Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That's not enough space?
- Ryan Atwood: How'd you make it all the way to Portland from Newport on that little catamaran?
- Seth: Hmm. Well, Ryan, sit down, my son. It was a long and torturous journey, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sugarcoat any of the details for you.
- Ryan Atwood: Please don't.
- Seth: 'Cause we're friends. First, I sailed to Catalina.
- Ryan Atwood: Hmm.
- Seth: Then I sailed to Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara, I ran out of snacks. Freaked out a little bit, pawned my boat for cash, took a Greyhound to Portland.
- Ryan Atwood: You took a bus?
- Seth: Yeah. But don't say it like that, it was a local. OK, have you ever been on one of those? Not for the faint of heart.
- Ryan Atwood: I can't believe after all that you took a bus.
- Seth: Yeah. I think we're definitely going to have to come up with a better story for school though, that'd be good.
- Ryan Atwood: No, no, I like the bus idea. It's cool.
- Seth: OK, but what about maybe, um... boat sank, saved by whales? It's very Whale Rider.
- Ryan Atwood: Hey, so, ah, I was thinking.
- Seth: I was thinking too. You know they don't even have a water polo team here. That's just gonna be a problem for me.
- Marissa Cooper: So my mom's trying to drag me to cardio-barre again. It's her idea of mother-daughter bonding.
- Summer Roberts: Cardio-barre, Coop?
- Marissa Cooper: Well, she says it's the new Tai-Bo. So maybe I can learn to kick her ass.
- Summer Roberts: I don't think you need to do any more cardio.
- Marissa Cooper: What's that supposed to mean?
- Summer Roberts: Nothing! It's just that, well, and I mean this in the least scandalous way, but you're looking a little thin.
- Marissa Cooper: I eat!
- Summer Roberts: OK.
- [grimacing]
- Summer Roberts: Oh God! You definitely drink! What's in this, lighter fluid?
- Marissa Cooper: [takes a sip without blinking an eye] Hmm. This is a Newport Beach iced tea.
- Summer Roberts: This is ten o'clock in the morning. It's a little early.
- Summer Roberts: Well, my therapist said the best thing I can do to move on in my life is to divest myself of all Seth's material possessions.
- [Kirsten looks confused]
- Summer Roberts: I've got to dump off a bunch of his crap.
- Jimmy Cooper: So what's the matter, what's going on?
- Julie Cooper-Nichol: Aside from our daughter being the spawn of Chucky and Keith Moon?
- Ryan Atwood: Well, it's still a pretty big deaI. I mean, dropping out of school, moving up here?
- Seth: I don't know. It used to be perfectly normal for teenagers to board tramp steamers and travel the country.
- Ryan Atwood: That was the depression; they were looking for work.
- Seth: Hobos are hot again.
- Julie Cooper-Nichol: You two are still-?
- Jimmy Cooper: Yeah, we're doing great. She's fantastic, sweet, limber. How about you and Caleb?
- Julie Cooper-Nichol: Not so limber.
- Sandy Cohen: In the meantime, could you please try to convince the fellows here to wear something in a shirt? My neighbors have started to refer to my home as the man hole.
- Archie: Too Village People?
- Sandy Cohen: Exactly.
- Sandy Cohen: The clouds have gathered, Cal. It's about to rain down on you, on all of us. So put your storm windows in, if you know what I mean.
- Caleb Nichol: That bad, huh?
- Sandy Cohen: Get your house in order. The Newport Group, the family. Do it soon.
- Archie: When do we think we'll be done tearing your house apart?
- Sandy Cohen: Well, my house is torn apart, and construction's got nothing to do with it. Ballpark, Archie, ballpark.
- Archie: It's September now. I'd say two weeks. A month tops. Six weeks.
- Luke Ward: [playing a video game] Come on, Chino. Try and hurt me, huh? Make me feel pain. Wound me.
- Seth: Think of all the money Luke saves on therapy playing these games.
- Ryan Atwood: I think he should still consider therapy.