- [Dawn is introducing consultants to David]
- Dawn: David, this is Ray and Jude from... I'm sorry, I've forgotten where you're from.
- Ray: Cooper and Webb.
- David Brent: Who's Cooper and who's Webb?
- Ray: Neither of us.
- David Brent: I bet you get that all the time.
- Ray: No.
- David Brent: I'm thirties.
- Trudy: Yeah, but you've let yourself go a bit haven't you?
- David Brent: I've let myself go a bit?
- Trudy: Yeah.
- David Brent: Look at yourself, you're an embarrassment love, to be honest.
- David Brent: [David has just discovered a dildo hidden in his office while in a meeting with two business consultants] Excuse me, everybody. What am I doing in there, with a dildo? She says it's not hers. And I for one believe her. So whose is it?
- [Trudy slowly puts her hand up]
- David Brent: Well, what's it doing in there?
- Trudy: Well it's a birthday present. But... I don't know what it's doing in there.
- David Brent: [to the two consultants] There, you see. Practical jokes. Is it today, your birthday? Many happy returns. But, what have we learned from this?
- Trudy: Not to leave your dildo lying around.
- David Brent: Don't let it out of your sight. Because it could wind up...
- [he accidentally flicks a switch and it starts oscillating]
- David Brent: Oh, God. What do you do when it gets like that? Well, you probably...
- [he hands it, still oscillating, to Tim]
- David Brent: Could you... make sure it gets back to... her.
- Tim: Ok now guys, we're about to enter a warehouse environment now. I'll just warn you that some of the people in here will be working class. So there may be some arse cleavage. Just find a partner, hold hands and don't talk to anyone.
- David Brent: [notices the dildo Tim had hidden under a folder on Andy's desk] What's that?
- Jude: It's a dildo.
- David Brent: Is it yours?
- [tries to hand it to her]
- Jude: No!