The Office (TV Series)

Training (2001)

Ricky Gervais: David Brent

Photos 

Quotes 

• David Brent : I'd like to make a complaint please

  Rowan : Don't care

  David Brent : Well I am staying at the hotel...

  Rowan : Don't care, it's not my shift

  David Brent : Well you're an ambassador for the hotel...

  Rowan : I don't care

  David Brent : I think you'll care when I tell you what the complaint is...

  Rowan : I don't ca...

  David Brent : I think there's been a rape up there.

  David Brent : ...I got his attention. Get their attention.

• Rowan : Gareth, quick trust exercise, ultimate fantasy?

  Gareth : Hmm?

  David Brent : We're just doing the ultimate fantasy, we're all doing it.

  Gareth : Two lesbians probably, sisters. I'm just watching.

  Rowan : OK. Erm. Tim? Do you have one?

  Tim : I'd never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Gareth please?

• [David is singing a song he wrote] 

  David Brent : [singing]  Little while later I see a cowboy crying, I said, "Hey buddy, what can I do?" He says, "I lived a good life, had about a thousand women." I said "Why the tears?", he says "'cause none of them was you."

  Tim : What, you?

  David Brent : No, he's looking at a photograph.

  Tim : Of you?

  David Brent : No, of his girlfriend. The video would have shown it.

  Tim : Sorry. It just sounds a bit gay.

  David Brent : It's not gay!

• Rowan : Hello, I'd wish to make a complaint.

  David Brent : Not interested.

  Rowan : My room is an absolute disgrace, the bathroom doesn't appear to have been cleaned.

  David Brent : What room are you in?

  Rowan : 362

  David Brent : There is no 362 in this hotel... sometimes the complaints will be false.

• David Brent : We're both good in our own fields. I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage a successful paper merchants. I couldn't do what-, well, I could do what they do, and I think they knew that, even back then. Probably what spurred them on.

• Rowan : I'm gonna play a very bad hotel manager who just doesn't care, and...

  David Brent : Sorry, if it's a Basil Fawlty type character, well, er, maybe I should do it, just for the comedy.

  Rowan : Let me play it, just to kick things off.

  David Brent : Yeah, well I'll probably bring something to this role anyway.

• Gareth : So, can you set fire to a postage stamp?

  David Brent : No. In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. A busdriver would have to accept that as currency.

  Gareth : Yeah, that would happen.

  David Brent : Well if he doesn't, report him.

  Gareth : Yeah, I'll report him when I'm walking home.

  Gareth : You can taxi, if you've got enough stamps.

• [Brent believes anything with the Queen's image should be currency] 

  David Brent : In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. A bus driver would have to accept that as currency.

  Tim : Yeah, that'd happen.

  Gareth : Well, if he doesn't, report him.

  Tim : Yeah, I'll report him while I'm walking home.

  Gareth : Get a taxi, if you've got enough stamps.

  Dawn : Or cash 'em in at the Post Office.

  David Brent : Shouldn't have to. Shouldn't have to.