"The Office" Diversity Day (TV Episode 2005) Poster

(TV Series)

(2005)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

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Steve Carell in The Office (2005) Steve Carell in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer, Mindy Kaling, and Leslie David Baker in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, and Oscar Nuñez in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Larry Wilmore, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Oscar Nuñez, and Mindy Kaling in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer, Kate Flannery, and Rainn Wilson in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, and Angela Kinsey in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer, Leslie David Baker, and Brian Baumgartner in The Office (2005) Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, and Mindy Kaling in The Office (2005)

Quotes 

  • Michael Scott : You'll notice I didn't have anybody being Arab. I thought that would be too explosive. No pun intended. But I just thought, "Too soon for Arabs." Maybe next year. Um... You know, the ball's in their court.

  • Oscar : Both my parents were born in Mexico. And they moved to the United States a year before I was born. So I grew up in the United States. My parents were Mexican.

    Michael Scott : Wow. Wow. That is... That is a great story. That's the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides "Mexican" that you prefer? Something less offensive?

  • Toby Flenderson : [joking]  Hey, we're not all going to sit in a circle Indian style, are we?

    Michael Scott : [serious]  Get out.

    Toby Flenderson : Oh. Sorry.

    Michael Scott : No. This is not a joke. What you said was offensive... and lame, so double offense. This is an environment of welcoming, and... you should just get the hell out of here.

  • Stanley Hudson : It's collard greens.

    Michael Scott : What?

    Stanley Hudson : It's collard greens.

    Michael Scott : That doesn't really make any sense. 'Cause you don't call them collard people. That's offensive.

  • Mr. Brown : [deleted scene]  HERO, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness.

    Michael Scott : I just think that HERO? It's cute, but it's... It's empty, you know? It's easy. Dwight, you know what, I came up with some terms of my own. Could you put these on the board? The first one is Inclusion, New attitudes, Color-blind...

    Mr. Brown : Oh, nice.

    Michael Scott : Expectations...

    Mr. Brown : Good.

    Michael Scott : Thank you. Sharing...

    Mr. Brown : Great.

    Michael Scott : And Tolerance.

    Mr. Brown : Beautiful.

    Pam Beesley : Um, that spells incest.

    Mr. Brown : Oh my. Sorry. That is not appropriate.

    Michael Scott : Well, it's not ideal but you have to give me some credit 'cause I made it into a word.

    Mr. Brown : Yeah, but it's not appropriate. This is not helpful as a memory aid.

    Michael Scott : I will give you a number of reasons why it is, actually. Okay, first, incest is bad. Racism is bad. No brainer, right? Two, incest. We're all a family, right? We're all brothers and sisters. Racial message? Um? Number three, and this is a fact. The states where they have a lot of racism are the states where they have a lot of incest. Okay? And finally...

    Mr. Brown : Okay, Michael, I just...

    Michael Scott : No, no, no, no, wait. Final one, final one this is important. The more we can encourage interracial dating as a society the further away we get from incest, literally.

    Pam Beesley : It would've been just as easy for him to spell insect. Of course, that wouldn't have made any sense either.

  • Michael Scott : I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish. Sort of a virtual United Nations.

  • Mr. Brown : [deleted scene]  Thanks for filling these out. I promise this will be quick. We only have about an hour.

    Michael Scott : Yeah. I would like to see us erase 100 years of racism in an hour.

    Mr. Brown : Does this company have 100 years to erase?

    Michael Scott : No, the country.

    Mr. Brown : Oh right, more like 200 years.

    Michael Scott : Yeah, more like a 1,000.

    Mr. Brown : Okay, um. Uh, I'll try to make this quick.

  • Michael Scott : [deleted scene]  "In this way, I can truly be a hero. Signed, Daffy Duck."

    [laughing] 

    Michael Scott : He's going to lose it when he reads that. Doh! Hogan! Not again, Hogan! Get Col. Burkhalter on the phone!

    [laughing] 

    Michael Scott : I'm kind of a Hogan around here. And kind of, Jan is kind of Col. Burkhalter, then Dwight is Schultz. But, it's... Oh, God. We have fun. We have fun. 'Cause he's gonna be pissed.

    [making voice] 

    Michael Scott : No doubt about it.

  • Michael Scott : Man, I should've gotten some food.

    Kevin : [wearing "Italian" card on his head]  Maybe some spaghetti.

    Michael Scott : Okay, Kevin, you can take off... that... thing, okay?

  • Mr. Brown : [deleted scene]  Does anyone have anything else at all? Anyone besides Michael?

    Ryan Howard : I have something.

    Mr. Brown : Yes, please.

    Ryan Howard : Um, well, I grew up here in Scranton and when I was a kid the guy who lived next door was a former baseball player, who actually played pro ball before the leagues were integrated. And he had the most incredible stories about...

    Michael Scott : Okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry this guy's a temp and I should've told you that.

    Michael Scott : No, no, no, no. An outsider's perspective would probably be pretty helpful.

    Michael Scott : Yeah, but no, seriously. Uh, you know, he's not a member of the full staff so, uh, Ryan, you wanna just step outside?

    Ryan Howard : What do you want me to do?

    Michael Scott : Well, maybe you should go down to the parking lot. You know what? Yes, go down to the parking lot and check to see if any of our guests have parked in the handicapped spots. Cool? 'Cause the handicaps get a raw deal. Oh, you know what. That ties right into New Attitudes. New attitudes about handicap people. Very important.

    Mr. Brown : I'm sorry, Michael. We're actually out of time.

    Pam Beesley : Yeah, um, there's good things about Michael. He uh, uh... Yeah, definitely. Um...

  • Pam Beesley : [deleted scene]  One time we had an ethnic festival in Scranton. One time.

    Michael Scott : Try my googi, googi.

    [Lowering voice] 

    Michael Scott : Try my googi, googi.

    [High-pitched voice] 

    Michael Scott : Try my googi, googi. Try my...

    [Kelly slaps Michael] 

    Michael Scott : All right! All right! Yes! That was great, she gets it! Kelly, thank you.

    [claps] 

    Michael Scott : She's not here, but she gets it. That's what we have been looking for. The whole time.

    [trying not to cry] 

    Michael Scott : Oh, man. This is what I thrive on. You know? It's like Don Rickles on acid, man. Right?

    Jim Halpert : Um, why did she slap Martin Luther King?

    Michael Scott : What, huh?

    Pam Beesley : What card was she?

    Jim Halpert : I think she wasn't wearing a card.

    Michael Scott : It's good. This is good. We got it happening now. All right? Let's keep it rolling. Let's round it up.

  • Michael Scott : [screaming]  IGNANT-ASS!

  • Jim Halpert : [deleted scene]  Um, what's going on here?

    Pam Beesley : People treat us like the race on our forehead. And then we guess what race we are.

    Jim Halpert : Ah, good. Good luck. Doing good.

    [goes to the index cards and writes another race down] 

    Dwight Schrute : Oh, man, am I a woman?

    Jim Halpert : Yes, yes.

    Dwight Schrute : God!

    Jim Halpert : How embarrassing is it? That's not fair. Here...

    Dwight Schrute : It's not fair.

    Jim Halpert : Try this.

    [takes Dwight's 'Asian' race and switches it with the one he wrote] 

    Dwight Schrute : Thank you. Thank you very much.

    Jim Halpert : Go get 'em.

    Dwight Schrute : Good.

    [clears throat] 

    Dwight Schrute : So, am I a hunter gather culture?

    Pam Beesley : No.

    Dwight Schrute : Do I live near a harbor or an ocean?

    Pam Beesley : No.

    Dwight Schrute : No, I'm an inland. Am I a mountainous?

    Pam Beesley : No.

    Dwight Schrute : Am I nomadic?

    Pam Beesley : No.

    Dwight Schrute : Okay, okay, okay, okay. I think I got this. Um, I am treated in a foreign way with a great deal of prejudice. Am I one of those tribes in Africa? The piggies, or whatever?

    Pam Beesley : No.

    Dwight Schrute : No. But I am, I am human, right?

    [Pam hesitates, Dwight's new race is 'Dwight'] 

    Dwight Schrute : I could be French.

    [takes his 'Dwight' race off his forehead] 

    Dwight Schrute : Damn it, Jim! That's not funny, Jim!

    Michael Scott : Oh, okay. Here we go, breakthrough radar. What happened? What happened here?

    Pam Beesley : It didn't have anything to do with race.

    Michael Scott : Okay, all right. Let's keep on track. Keep on point. Let's do it.

  • Michael Scott : [deleted scene, wandering around the room during his diversity exercise]  I want you to push it. I want you to push 'cause breakthroughs are right around the corner. Something's going to pop here. Something's going to pop between a party. Feel what it's like to be in someone else's skin. What does it feel like to be a different race? It feels pretty bad, doesn't it? So let that come out.

  • Michael Scott : [deleted scene]  Yeah, I marched on Washington back in the day. I went to the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, U.S. Mint, congressman talked to our class. It was pretty cool.

    [to his crew] 

    Michael Scott : Talk like you're talking to that race. I have a feeling that this could get kind of volatile. So keep it going.

    [camera shows Devon sitting outside with West Nile] 

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