The Office (TV Series)

Health Care (2005)

Jenna Fischer: Pam Beesly

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dwight Schrute : Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

  Pam Beesly : Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?

  Dwight Schrute : So I can lower it.

• Jim Halpert : Wait, what are you writing? Don't write ebola or mad cow disease, all right? Because I'm suffering from both of them.

  Pam Beesly : I'm inventing new diseases.

  Jim Halpert : Oh, great.

  Pam Beesly : So, like, let's say that my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?

  Jim Halpert : I thought you said you were inventing new diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.

  Pam Beesly : Nice.

• Jim Halpert : Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... Have you seen it?

  Pam Beesley : No. I have a life.

  Jim Halpert : Interesting. What's that like?

  Pam Beesley : You should try it sometime.

  Jim Halpert : Wow. But then who would watch my TV?

• Dwight Schrute : All right, who did this? I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it so I can punish them.

  Jim Halpert : What are you talking about?

  Dwight Schrute : Uh, someone, uh, forged medical information, and that is a felony.

  Jim Halpert : Okay, whoa, all right, 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?

  Dwight Schrute : Uh, leprosy? Flesh-eating bacteria? Hot dog fingers. Government created killer nano robot infection.

  [to Jim] 

  Dwight Schrute : You did this, didn't you?

  Jim Halpert : Absolutely not.

  Dwight Schrute : Yes, you did.

  Jim Halpert : No, I didn't.

  Dwight Schrute : I know it was you. Okay, fine, you know what? I'm going to have to interview each and every one of you until the perpetrator makes him or herself known. And until that time, there will be no health care coverage for anyone!

  [Dwight slams door to his workspace] 

  Jim Halpert : [to Pam]  Killer nano robots?

  Pam Beesly : It's an epidemic.

• Pam Beesley : There's nothing new.

  Michael Scott : That's not what you said earlier.

  Pam Beesley : Do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before for the...

  [motions to the camera] 

• Dwight Schrute : Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

  Pam Beesley : Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?

  Dwight Schrute : So I can lower it.