"The Office" Health Care (TV Episode 2005) Poster

(TV Series)

(2005)

John Krasinski: Jim Halpert

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Jim Halpert : Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And, well, if this were my career? I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.

  • Jim Halpert : Wait, what are you writing? Don't write ebola or mad cow disease, all right? Because I'm suffering from both of them.

    Pam Beesly : I'm inventing new diseases.

    Jim Halpert : Oh, great.

    Pam Beesly : So, like, let's say that my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?

    Jim Halpert : I thought you said you were inventing new diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.

    Pam Beesly : Nice.

  • Dwight Schrute : Please knock. This is an office.

    Jim Halpert : [pointing to sign]  It says "workspace."

    Dwight Schrute : Same thing.

    Jim Halpert : If it's the same thing, then why'd you write "workspace"?

  • Dwight Schrute : The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. "Count Choculitis?"

    Jim Halpert : Sounds tough.

    Dwight Schrute : Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

  • Jim Halpert : Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... Have you seen it?

    Pam Beesley : No. I have a life.

    Jim Halpert : Interesting. What's that like?

    Pam Beesley : You should try it sometime.

    Jim Halpert : Wow. But then who would watch my TV?

  • Dwight Schrute : All right, who did this? I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it so I can punish them.

    Jim Halpert : What are you talking about?

    Dwight Schrute : Uh, someone, uh, forged medical information, and that is a felony.

    Jim Halpert : Okay, whoa, all right, 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?

    Dwight Schrute : Uh, leprosy? Flesh-eating bacteria? Hot dog fingers. Government created killer nano robot infection.

    [to Jim] 

    Dwight Schrute : You did this, didn't you?

    Jim Halpert : Absolutely not.

    Dwight Schrute : Yes, you did.

    Jim Halpert : No, I didn't.

    Dwight Schrute : I know it was you. Okay, fine, you know what? I'm going to have to interview each and every one of you until the perpetrator makes him or herself known. And until that time, there will be no health care coverage for anyone!

    [Dwight slams door to his workspace] 

    Jim Halpert : [to Pam]  Killer nano robots?

    Pam Beesly : It's an epidemic.

  • Dwight Schrute : Someone forged medical information, and that is a felony.

    Jim Halpert : Okay. Whoa, all right, 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?

    Dwight Schrute : [reading from a sheet]  Uh, "Leprosy. Flesh-eating bacteria. Hot-dog fingers. Government-created killer nanorobot infection."

  • Jim Halpert : Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And, uh... Well, if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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