The Office (TV Series)
The Alliance (2005)
Rainn Wilson: Dwight Schrute
Quotes
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Dwight Schrute : Can I trust Jim? I don't know. Do I have a choice? No, frankly, I don't. Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me.
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Jim Halpert : At that moment, I was so happy. I mean, everything Dwight does annoys me.
Dwight Schrute : [next scene] Did you get your tickets?
Jim Halpert : To what?
Dwight Schrute : The gun show.
[lifts up his sleeve and kisses his arm]
Jim Halpert : [back to interview] And I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him but only in ways that would get me arrested. And then here he comes and he says, "No, Jim, here's a way."
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Jim Halpert : You are not going to believe this.
Dwight Schrute : What? I believe it.
Jim Halpert : Well, tensions were high in the kitchen.
Dwight Schrute : I could tell from the body language.
Jim Halpert : [in the kitchen] That looks good. What is it? Turkey?
Kevin : Italian.
Jim Halpert : Oh, Italian. Nice. Wow! You got the works there. Red onion. Provolone...
Kevin : Yeah.
[back outside]
Jim Halpert : Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off.
Dwight Schrute : Good. Let 'em. That's fine. It helps our cause.
Jim Halpert : Well, I don't know, because if Kevin's in Accounting and Toby's in Human Resources and they're talking...
Dwight Schrute : They're forming an alliance.
Toby : [back in kitchen] I love their sandwiches.
Jim Halpert : I love their sandwiches too.
Kevin : Their bread's really good.
Jim Halpert : Their bread is very good.
Dwight Schrute : [back outside] Damn it. God. Gah!
[kicks car and car alarm sounds]
Jim Halpert : Okay, listen. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.
Dwight Schrute : God damn it! Why us?
Jim Halpert : Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong!
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Dwight Schrute : I'm a deer hunter, I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer? They have very good vision. One thing about me? I'm better at hiding than they are at vision.
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Dwight Schrute : It's a real shame, 'cause studies have shown that more information is passed through water-cooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because...
[picks up water bottle]
Dwight Schrute : I bring my own water to work.
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Michael Scott : I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. Kind of fun, inside.
Dwight Schrute : She had a hysterectomy.
Michael Scott : Which one is that again?
Dwight Schrute : That's when they remove the uterus.
Michael Scott : Oh, God! Dwight, no.
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Dwight Schrute : So, what do you guys hear? What's the scuttlebutt?