Raviv Ullman: Phil Diffy

Quotes 

• Phil Diffy : She's making me do all the girl stuff that she used to do with Tia, like go shopping! I now own at least three halter tops.

  Barbara Diffy : Phil, you don't have to buy them.

  Phil Diffy : Well, when she buys one I get one half off, I'd be crazy not to.

• Phil Diffy : On Saturday, Keely went to the mall. Guess who went with her?

  Owen : [mocking cheerleader voice]  Um, her bestest girlfriend "Phil"?

  Phil Diffy : Nope. Via. Then on Sunday she went to try this new highlight thing with her hair. Guess who went with her? Via! Then yesterday she spent three hours shopping for a sweater. Guess with who?

  Owen : Via?

  Phil Diffy : No. Her mom. But they met up with Via later and rented

  [mocking voice] 

  Phil Diffy : Lost Pony 2.

  Owen : [disappointed]  That pony got lost again?

  Owen : Mm...

  Phil Diffy : I'm a genius.

  Keely Teslow : [Keely arrives and kisses Phil on the cheek, pleasantly surprising him.]  That's for introducing me to Via.

  Phil Diffy : I get a kiss every time I introduce you to a girl.

  [grabs random girl heading down the hallway] 

  Phil Diffy : What's your name? Have you met Keely?

• Phil Diffy : Come on, ever since Tia left, you've been using me to do all the things you used to do with her! I don't wanna be your girlfriend, I wanna be your boyfriend! I mean, your friend, as in a boy. A guy. Your guy friend.

  Keely Teslow : So why didn't you just say that?

  Phil Diffy : I didn't know how to tell you.

  Keely Teslow : Phil, you can tell me anything. I'm your girlfriend! Uh... uh... I-I-I-I-I mean a girl, who-who's a friend. You know, a gal... A gal friend!