- Debbie Berwick: Oh, Bradley, you're such a treasure! Isn't he a treasure, Pim?
- Pim Diffy: I wish he was buried treasure.
- Debbie Berwick: You're wild and untamed and you appeal to the beast in him.
- Pim Diffy: There is a beast inside Bradley?
- Debbie Berwick: [nods]
- Pim Diffy: What is it, a chipmunk?
- Pim Diffy: Wait until Bradley gets bellyful of you.
- Debbie Berwick: Oh, he'll get a bellyful, all right. He'll get such a bellyful, he'll look like a pregnant whale!
- Phil Diffy: Hey, did Darcy come off as an 8-year-old Bulgarian girl who can't read?
- Frankie: I'd teach her how to read, you know what I'm saying?
- Phil Diffy: No. What are you saying?
- Frankie: [confused] I don't know.
- Tanner: [to Keely] Did you know your eyes are the window to your soul? You have stained glass eyes.
- [walks away as Keely follows him with her eyes]
- Phil Diffy: Stained glass eyes! Who would fall for a line like that?
- Keely Teslow: [dreamily] Tanner Kirkpatrick just talked to me!
- Tanner: I guess she would.
- Phil Diffy: Immature jerk? Oh, I get that all the time! My sister, parents, neighbors, random people on the street. "Hey, it's the immature jerk! What up?"
- Phil Diffy: I just wish Tanner wasn't such a load.
- Tia: Oh, look who's jealous.
- Phil Diffy: No, I'm not jealous. I don't think. Nope, I just wish Tanner wasn't such a load.