- [Imitating Forrest Gump]
- Buzz Sherwood: Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates... SO PIG OUT! Hahahahahahaha!
- Red Green: [birds chirping, loon calling] Women appreciate creative input. Men appreciate silence.
- [loud raspy snoring, incoherent spluttery blabbering exhale]
- [as part of the American network deal, Harold urges Red to use American vernacular rather than Canadian, but Red is hesitant]
- Red Green: Let me tell you something, Harold, all right? I love the Americans. I'm really happy the Americans are watching our show. But I'm gonna change my tune, okay? My tune happens to be "O Canada", all right?
- [the audience is heard applauding, and Harold reluctantly applauds as well]
- Harold Green: That's wonderful, that's fantastic! I just thought I might mention at this point in time, at this particular juncture, that American TV stars get $50,000 an episode.
- Red Green: [ponders for a second, realizing Harold has a good point] All right, well, my new tune is "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy".