Roseanne (TV Series)

December Bride (1995)

Fred Willard: Scott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Scott : Where do I go to get a good price on flowers?

  Roseanne : Well, the dumpster behind Spiegelman's Funeral Home.

• Scott : I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.

  Leon Carp : That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

• Scott : [to Roseanne]  Let me see that check.

  [dials the phone] 

  Scott : You really shouldn't have to... Hello, Mrs. Sloan? Hi, this is Scott, I'm the desk clerk at the Come-and-Go Motel. Last time you and your husband were here, you left some of your private garments here and... You haven't? Well, aren't you a 20-year-old busty blonde? Oops, my mistake.

  [hangs up] 

  Roseanne : He stiffs me out of a tip and you wreck his whole marriage? This is great! I've got other checks, let's do more!

• Scott : So this is Roseanne. Prove it. Do that thing where you spew bile and scare young children.

  Roseanne : Oh, I only do that at the Christmas party.

• Scott : With the money we save on the wedding planner, we could afford that honeymoon trip to the Bahamas we've always wanted.

  Leon Carp : Scott, I was thinking we'd be going to Greece, myself.

  Scott : You can grease yourself in the Bahamas.