Roseanne (TV Series)
House of Grown-Ups (1989)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Roseanne Conner : I hate my boss. I hope he never graduates from high school.
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Becky Conner : When you first went out with Daddy, did you want to kiss him all the time?
Roseanne Conner : Well, somebody had to. And you know me, work work work.
Becky Conner : When did you know that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him?
Roseanne Conner : Oh, well, I ain't decided that yet.
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Roseanne Conner : I'll go to sleep when the girls get home.
Dan Conner : Yeah, what about the trouble over in Johannesburg? Why don't you go solve the problems in South Africa?
Roseanne Conner : Well I would if you'da fixed those nuclear warheads like I asked you to.
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Darlene Conner : You actually touch tongues?
Roseanne Conner : Bet you can't wait for high school now, can you?
Darlene Conner : If ANY guy puts his tongue in my mouth, I'll barf.
Roseanne Conner : Well that'll be a great way to get asked on a second date.
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Darlene Conner : [groans] Here comes the talk.
Roseanne Conner : Well, kissing guys ain't all that bad, ain't that right, Becky?
Becky Conner : [groans] Mother...
Roseanne Conner : Just as long as it's something you want to do and you're not doing it to be cool or nothing.
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Dan Conner : Six weeks isn't that long.
Roseanne Conner : It's almost a 9th of a year.
Dan Conner : My God, you've done the math!
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Roseanne Conner : I'll be down as soon as I check your stove.
Jackie Harris : It's off, I never cook!
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Roseanne Conner : Darlene's going to be dating soon and Becky's practically married, and DJ's getting in his adult teeth.
Dan Conner : This isn't about DJ and it's not about Darlene and it's not about Becky, this is about Roseanne, you're worried everybody's leaving you.
Roseanne Conner : Well everybody *is* leaving me!
Dan Conner : What do I look like? Why do you think that boat I've been building is only big enough for two people?
Roseanne Conner : Because the garage is too small.
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Roseanne Conner : [crying] You know you're my best friend.
Jackie Harris : [crying] Oh Roseanne, don't do this, don't get sappy.
Roseanne Conner : But I want to get sappy.
Jackie Harris : Okay, sap away.
Roseanne Conner : You're going away forever.
Jackie Harris : No I'm not, I'll be back before you know it.
Roseanne Conner : Yeah, but you'll be different.
Jackie Harris : But, maybe I'll be better.
Roseanne Conner : But I like you the way you are now... even though you don't have any rugs.
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D.J. Conner : [yelling over the vacuum cleaner] Mom, I'm going over to Joey's!
Roseanne Conner : What for?
D.J. Conner : TO PLAY!