Roseanne (TV Series)

It's a Boy (1993)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Quotes 

• Roseanne : Dan, I saw what David lives with, and I - I just couldn't leave him there. He deserves to move in with a stable family.

  Dan Conner : Gee, can I come too?

• Roseanne : [Roseanne tells Dan that she's letting David move in after all]  Well, I didn't do it for Darlene; she's the last person I want to make happy. I did it for David! I couldn't leave him there.

  Dan Conner : That's what you said when we found that lost puppy on the highway. I don't want this to wind up like that. I don't wanna have to put David to sleep.

• Roseanne : [deciding between hamburgers or pizza for dinner]  Well, David, it looks like you're the tie-breaker.

  David Healy : [Dan, D.J., Roseanne, and Darlene all stare]  Um, burger's good.

  Dan Conner : My God, I can feel it. The hormonal balance in this house has shifted, and the men are victorious! Come, men, let us repair to the living room. We shall watch "The Three Stooges" and we shall scratch ourselves.

  [Dan walks proudly into the living room, followed by D.J] 

  Roseanne , Darlene Conner : [David hurries after the men, they turn to each other and laugh victoriously]  Pizza.

• Darlene Conner : [to David]  Alright. Well, I guess I'll show you your room in the basement.

  Dan Conner : I don't think so. First of all, there will be no holding hands. There will be no looks across the room. There will be no touchy-feely, there will be no hanky-panky, there will be no smoochy-woochy. And there will be none of that other stuff you're not supposed to know about.

  Darlene Conner : Can we still date?

  Dan Conner : If you want, but I don't see much point.

• Roseanne : [about David's home life]  No, I don't mean messed up like *we're* messed up, I mean really, really *really* awful... I grew up in a house like that.

  Dan Conner : [sighs]  That bad, huh?