Roseanne (TV Series)

Morning Becomes Obnoxious (1996)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Cindy Kenner : [chiperly]  Hi, I'm Cindy.

  Roseanne : [shakes her hand]  Hi, I'm Roseanne.

  Cindy Kenner : Say, could I possibly get a little bit of Pellegreno?

  Roseanne : You could, if I knew what the hell that was.

  Cindy Kenner : [chuckles with a condescending attitude]  Sorry, I forgot where I was.

  Roseanne : You were inbetween asking me for a drink, and getting punched in the face.

• Cindy Kenner : [interview with Roseanne]  Hi. Is beef back?

  Roseanne : Well, I just want to say that the only thing I don't like about fat is that it doesn't have any sugar in it.

  Cindy Kenner : Okay! But, um, doesn't a fatty diet, I mean, won't it make you fat?

  Roseanne : So... A lot of people are fat, you know. In fact, I think more American women look like me than you, you know. Yeah, but when you watch TV, there's like no fat people on there or anything, like, when I watch that show "Friends", you know, that has all those whiny girls that are nothing but hair and bones, you know, and like, I watch them and they're like drinking those triple expressos and stuff and I'm just like "Hey! Go for the muffins!"

  Roseanne : [Cindy tries to pull the microphone away from Roseanne]  It kinda bugs me, you know, because uh, you know, I feel like, hey, I - I eat the same amount of food that they eat, I just don't puke when I'm done.

• Joe Matthews : Roseanne, your appearance on the show this morning, it was - fantastic! I mean, your whole "opinionated, blue-collar outlook" people just loved it!

  Roseanne : Oh! See Dan! All these years, everybody thought I was a "bitch", but what I *had* - was an "opinionated, blue-collar outlook".

• [Cindy Lenner's interview session with Leon in the diner] 

  Cindy Kenner : [recording]  Today we've come to the litte town of Lanford, to ask some local resaurant people the question that's on everyone's lips this election year: 'Is beef back?'.

  Roseanne : [on the sideline, to Jackie]  Does she have to think up all these questions every single day? When does she find time to not eat?

  Leon Carp : [looking terrified]  Is beef back? Here at the Lunchbox, located on route 9, just half a mile south of Hanging-Back Caverns, we serve beef, to our customers... So beef is good... And - and remember: Le-on recommends le-en.

  Cindy Kenner : [embarrassed, Leon covers his face and runs off-camera]  Okay!