- Scott: [about Leon] He never wants to do anything but lie around the house. I don't know how he can call himself gay!
- Roseanne Conner: So, what, he just came out of the closet and headed straight for the couch?
- Chuck Mitchell: Look, all I know is it's hard for a black man to get a fair shake in this country.
- Leon Carp: Oh okay, well you try being a gay man in Lanford, Illinois. I mean, there is nothing like - like having to correct the spelling when somebody paints "faggot" across your garage door.
- Jackie Harris: Roseanne, there's something I'm going to let you know. You don't deserve to know, but I'm going to tell you. Mrs. Tuttle loved you. I would always go to her and put you down and complain, but she always had your back.
- [points to her doll]
- Jackie Harris: This lady was in your corner.
- Roseanne Conner: [humbled] Well, I didn't know. She should've told me.
- Jackie Harris: It just warn't her way.
- Leon Carp: I'm sorry, pumpkin, I know it's Saturday but I'm tired when I get off work. Every night can't be a party.
- Scott: Every night? We NEVER go out, the Olympic torch goes out more than we do!
- Leon Carp: Well it's just hard being around people after spending all day being around... that!
- [points to Roseanne]
- Dan Conner: [to Chuck] Yeah I know people talk about how us white guys get all the breaks and get everything handed to us, but take a look around, Bob and me ain't living in no mansion, we had to struggle for everything we got.
- Leon Carp: [in awe, gestures around the kitchen] You... struggled... for *this*?
- Roseanne Conner: [to Leon] Stick and stones may break my bones, but at least they're not a part of my sex-life.
- Jackie Harris: Do you think Jerry to be as ruthless to Andy as you were to me?
- Roseanne Conner: No, what're you talking about? Andy's older!
- Jackie Harris: Yeah, but Jerry's *your* kid. He already took the blanket away. And the next thing you know, there'll be Andy shoved behind some insulation.
- Roseanne Conner: That won't happen, because we're going to break the cycle. I'll make sure that Jerry is as sweet to Andy as... I should've been to you.
- Roseanne Conner: [trying to wake Nana Mary] Okay, one more. HEY LOOK! TYRONNE POWER IS RUNNING AROUND IN HIS UNDERWEAR!
- [she doesn't stir]
- Roseanne Conner: She's out of it.
- Roseanne Conner: [takes out a full length fox fur] Ugh, I was 6 before I realized that this is not a pet.
- Jackie Harris: This is my cast, what's Nana Mary doing with it?
- Roseanne Conner: Don't you remember? She thought you were being a big baby about it so she cut if off a week early.
- Jackie Harris: [thinks] And to this day, it is impossible for me to get a blouse to line up just right.