Roseanne (TV Series)

Rear Window (1995)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Roseanne : [after explaining about their nudity]  Well, we don't want to offend you or anything. It's just that we think that the side of you might be wrecking our son.

  Irene Cornelli : Oh, really? And how's that?

  Roseanne : Well, uh, no offense, you know... uh... But look at you!

  Irene Cornelli : [furiously]  Well, no offense, but look at YOU, and you have CLOTHES on!

  Skip Cornelli : It isn't our nudity; it's our age, isn't it? Perhaps if we were younger and more attractive, we wouldn't be having this talk.

  Roseanne : [sarcastically]  Well, yeah, probably not for a couple more weeks.

  Skip Cornelli : I feel sorry for you people. Nudity is our chosen lifestyle - but you can't help yourselves! You're compulsive, sick perverts!

  Roseanne : Well, it's not that easy not to look!

  Irene Cornelli : Well, I certainly think WE could manage.

  Roseanne : Oh, yeah?

  [rips open her blouse shocking them in disgust] 

  Roseanne : What color are my eyes?

  Irene Cornelli : OH, MY GOD!

  Skip Cornelli : Come on, dear!

  [Skip and Irene head to the door and get their coats] 

  Skip Cornelli : [angrily]  We're going to plant that hedge, believe me - and we'll tell all your neighbors just what kind of people you are!

  [they leave] 

  Roseanne : Well, it's too late! They already know!

• Dan Conner : [looking at the neighbors naked]  I hope I don't look like that when I get old.

  Roseanne : I hope not too Dan, because that's the wife.

• Dan Conner : What're you doing?

  Roseanne : [on her way to the bathroom]  Well my unborn daughter and I are going to have a little puke party.

• Jackie : So they're like, totally naked all day?

  Roseanne : Well... sometimes he wears a hat.

• Roseanne : [as she shows Skip and Irene the house]  We should go in the bedroom there, because at night, you get a really good view of the stars there. Normally around now, we have a lovely view of your anus.

• Dan Conner : I thought you would think I was perverted.

  Roseanne : No, you watchin' alone is perverted, but us watchin' together, now that's a date.

• [on their new neighbors] 

  Jackie : So, they're like, really old?

  Roseanne : Well, let's just say they don't have trouble remembering where they were when President Lincoln was shot.

• Fred : Do your new neighbors know that you're watching 'em.

  Roseanne : No, we stand completely still because if they see us, you know, they might change their behavior. We got that from Wild Kingdom.

• Roseanne : Seems like everywhere you look nowadays, all you see is crack.

• Roseanne : She's not gonna hate you, Mark. She loves you in a way that makes our entire family think less of her.