- Roseanne: [after explaining about their nudity] Well, we don't want to offend you or anything. It's just that we think that the side of you might be wrecking our son.
- Irene Cornelli: Oh, really? And how's that?
- Roseanne: Well, uh, no offense, you know... uh... But look at you!
- Irene Cornelli: [furiously] Well, no offense, but look at YOU, and you have CLOTHES on!
- Skip Cornelli: It isn't our nudity; it's our age, isn't it? Perhaps if we were younger and more attractive, we wouldn't be having this talk.
- Roseanne: [sarcastically] Well, yeah, probably not for a couple more weeks.
- Skip Cornelli: I feel sorry for you people. Nudity is our chosen lifestyle - but you can't help yourselves! You're compulsive, sick perverts!
- Roseanne: Well, it's not that easy not to look!
- Irene Cornelli: Well, I certainly think WE could manage.
- Roseanne: Oh, yeah?
- [rips open her blouse shocking them in disgust]
- Roseanne: What color are my eyes?
- Irene Cornelli: OH, MY GOD!
- Skip Cornelli: Come on, dear!
- [Skip and Irene head to the door and get their coats]
- Skip Cornelli: [angrily] We're going to plant that hedge, believe me - and we'll tell all your neighbors just what kind of people you are!
- [they leave]
- Roseanne: Well, it's too late! They already know!
- Dan Conner: [looking at the neighbors naked] I hope I don't look like that when I get old.
- Roseanne: I hope not too Dan, because that's the wife.
- Dan Conner: What're you doing?
- Roseanne: [on her way to the bathroom] Well my unborn daughter and I are going to have a little puke party.
- Roseanne: [as she shows Skip and Irene the house] We should go in the bedroom there, because at night, you get a really good view of the stars there. Normally around now, we have a lovely view of your anus.
- Becky Conner-Healy: Since when did you care about my marriage?
- Darlene Conner: Since you decided to trade Moe in for Curly.
- Dan Conner: I thought you would think I was perverted.
- Roseanne: No, you watchin' alone is perverted, but us watchin' together, now that's a date.
- Roseanne: She's not gonna hate you, Mark. She loves you in a way that makes our entire family think less of her.