- [Roseanne and Jackie visit Bev's salon and spot a familiar-looking wig on a dummy]
- Jackie Harris: Roseanne, that is Mom's hair! Our mom wears a wig. You think she's bald?
- Roseanne: No way.
- Jackie Harris: If she's bald, that means that we could go bald. This is her hair. Look at this.
- [dons the wig and begins imitating Bev]
- Jackie Harris: Oh, Roseanne! A woman of your size shouldn't wear horizontal stripes! You should wear black or stay home. And another thing, dear: I don't mean to alarm you, but I think your little D.J. might be retarded!
- Roseanne: I told you that that hair could not be real. Look at that. Even William Shatner would make fun of *that* piece.
- Leon Carp: [about Roseanne's costume] Let's see, all in purple. Let me guess, you're either one of the California raisins, or Barney.