Roseanne (TV Series)

The Wedding (1996)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Roseanne Conner : You know, Darlene, there are going to be times when you're sitting across from David wondering 'why the hell did I marry this man?', and then it'll snow and he'll put chains on your tires, and then you'll remember why.

  Darlene Conner-Healy : [laughs]  No, David's not allowed anywhere near my car.

  Roseanne Conner : Already talking like a wife, I'm proud of you.

  Darlene Conner-Healy : Yeah, and soon I'm gonna start sounding like a mom.

  [mockingly] 

  Darlene Conner-Healy : 'Eating salads, just sitting around with the girls talking about sore nipples and waiting for the Prozac to kick in'.

• Roseanne Conner : [putting flowers in Darlene's hair]  Just enough to make you smell good but not enough to attract the bees.