Roseanne (TV Series)

The Wedding (1996)

Sara Gilbert: Darlene Conner-Healy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Darlene Conner-Healy : I need to walk down the aisle, are you ready to give me away?

  Dan Conner : No I'm not.

• Roseanne Conner : You know, Darlene, there are going to be times when you're sitting across from David wondering 'why the hell did I marry this man?', and then it'll snow and he'll put chains on your tires, and then you'll remember why.

  Darlene Conner-Healy : [laughs]  No, David's not allowed anywhere near my car.

  Roseanne Conner : Already talking like a wife, I'm proud of you.

  Darlene Conner-Healy : Yeah, and soon I'm gonna start sounding like a mom.

  [mockingly] 

  Darlene Conner-Healy : 'Eating salads, just sitting around with the girls talking about sore nipples and waiting for the Prozac to kick in'.

• Darlene Conner-Healy : David and I aren't going to miss out on anything, we're still young enough that we have plenty of time to...

  Dan Conner : Oh no you don't, believe me, that's what your mom and I thought too.

• Darlene Conner-Healy : [comes out of the bathroom in her wedding dress, to the women]  I've got two sticks of dynamite under this dress, the first chuckle takes us all out.