Roseanne (TV Series)

Tooth or Consequences (1993)

Laurie Metcalf: Jackie Harris

Quotes 

• Jackie : [Darlene asks Jackie to tell Roseanne for her, that she wants to go away to school]  All right, I'll do it. But when you're a famous writer, I want you to dedicate your first novel to your "incredibly brave Aunt Jackie, whose brutal death made this book possible."

• Jackie : Well, you go to a dental college, have a student work on it.

  Roseanne : Yeah, but with my luck, I'll get somebody who's in on a football scholarship.

• Jackie : [shouts]  You can't go screaming at Darlene!

  Roseanne : [shouts]  I sure can! If I don't start screaming at her, then she won't have no idea why she's getting strangled!

• Roseanne : [crying into a tissue]  I'm a lousy mother, aren't I, Jackie?

  Jackie : [tenderly and softly]  Nooooo. You're a great mother! You're loving, and protective. You're like one of those mother lions in the nature films, that carries her babies around by the back of the neck. 'Cept sometimes ya get a little rough, and you rip their heads off.