Roseanne (TV Series)

Two for One (1994)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roseanne : [walks into the basement bedroom, where Darlene and David are reading on the bed]  You two *are* having sex!

  Darlene : We are? David, why didn't you tell me? I'd have put my book down.

• Roseanne : What are you doing meeting strange men at motels?

  Darlene : No, you have it all wrong. I *meet* them at the truck stops, I *take* them to the motels.

• Roseanne : [to Dan]  What are you in such a good mood for? You're not allowed to have sugar, so you'd better be drunk.

• David Healy : I'm not lying, Mrs. Conner, Darlene and I haven't had sex all summer.

  Roseanne : Well, I wouldn't know anything about that, what, with being born yesterday.

• Roseanne : [Dan expresses that he is not completely sure, but is pretty sure about having another baby]  Well, I'm pretty sure that I'm completely pregnant, so you'd better get completely sure pretty damn quick!