- Tom Mottram MP: Tom Mottram, Under-Secretary Home Affairs, with special responsibility for prisons. I'm the fellow who tries to keep them in.
- Horace Rumpole: Horace Rumpole, Counsel for the Defence. I'm the fellow who tries to keep them out.
- Horace Rumpole: I may be a brilliant brief, Joby, but I'm unable to walk on water or turn base metals into gold.
- Horace Rumpole: [coming through the door, causing a burglar alarm to sound loudly] Hilda, Hilda, what's wrong? Is it an air raid?
- Hilda Rumpole: [pushing buttons on the controls of the alarm] Don't be so silly, Rumpole! It's perfectly simple.
- [pressing the digits]
- Hilda Rumpole: 3 - 4 - 8 - 9 - 6. You just press on this yellow button and you'll see it quiet immediately.
- Horace Rumpole: [the alarm is silent] What else have you installed? Death rays? Man traps? Are you going to sit in the kitchen all night with a double barreled shotgun? Come on, old darling, you've got to give the criminal classes a chance to earn their living.