- Kevin Nealon: I used to cheat in school and, eh, I find myself still cheating in life. I was at the grocery store last, eh... oh, lets make it last Monday. And eh, I caught myself cheating. You know, I was looking as somebody else's grocery list. And it hurt me, 'cause I got home and I had bought things I couldn't use... like six boxes of tampons, you know? Three jars of baby food. I can't use that.
- Bing Crosby: Wait a second, someone's at the door...
- [goes over to the door to open it]
- Bing Crosby: Oh, it's my way-out son, David Crosby.
- David Crosby: Dad, I gotta talk to you. I got arrested for carrying a gun at a concert.
- Bing Crosby: Whoa! Packing a piece at a pop show, eh?