Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Michael Jordan/Public Enemy (1991)

Kevin Nealon: Weekend Update Anchor, Various

Quotes 

• Weekend Update Anchor : Michaelangelo's David was damaged when a man described as deranged broke off part of it's toe with a hammer. The man said, quote: "A woman in a painting told me to do it". Police are questioning the Mona Lisa.

• Weekend Update Anchor : The Final Exit, the book that instructs its owner on suicide techniques, remains on the bestseller list for seven weeks in a row. One tip: don't try to find this book at the library. People just don't return it.