Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Tobey Maguire/Sisqo (2000)

Colin Quinn: Weekend Update Anchor

Quotes 

• Weekend Update Anchor : And now here with an editorial comment is our own Colin Quinn.

  Colin Quinn : [switches to other camera angle]  Thanks, Colin. Very funny Update. What am I saying? Always, always funny. I just wanna talk about something I read in the paper yesterday, which is that Martin Scorsese is casting a movie right now called "Gangs of New York", about the Irish gangs at the turn of the century. Hey, Scorsese, thanks for not calling me in for an audition. Yeah, there's nothing I would be right for in a movie about Irish guys... Why don't you call up the ten Italian guys you use in every movie and they could dye their hair red. Guess what, Martin? De Niro's not gonna be around forever. And don't call me now like you're watching this laughing, "Haha, we should call him in, the guy made fun of us on SNL". Now I don't want it, I don't want a pitty job. Besides, I don't need you, I got Lorne Michaels, he's gonna take care of me the rest of my life. Back to you, Colin.