The Simple Life (TV Series)

Pilot (1998)

Ashlee Levitch: Frederica Campbell

Quotes 

• Frederica Campbell : This is Sara Campbell's house?

  Melanie : Yes, it is. But I must warn you, if you're some sort of obsessed fan that's come here to dedicate your pathetic little life to her service, well, I was here first.

  Frederica Campbell : Oh! You're the wacko who was stalking my mother!

  Melanie : Yeah. She hired me. The lawyer said it'd be cheaper than getting a restraining order, so I'm in!

• [Sara presents the crew with birdhouse replicas of her barn] 

  Luke Barton : She built birdhouses for fifty people?

  Frederica Campbell : Yeah, she only sleeps four hours a night. And even then, she's pressing wildflowers under her box-spring.