- Ned Flanders: I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.
- Townspeople: crowd cheers as prostitutes leave Flanders' house after being told off and thrown out by Flanders
- Ned Flanders: I can't believe it. Everybody knew this was happening at my house and laughed at me. Well Homer, I guess you're the only true friend I have around here.
- Moe: What are you talking about? Homer's the one who informed us of the sexy going-ons.
- Homer: I'm sorry Flanders I couldn't tell you. I had to do it. It was just too funny.
- Ned Flanders: The bible says to cast thy food upon the waters but all I got was soggy bread.
- Homer: Mmm! Soggy bre...
- Ned Flanders: Homer, this is not the time for that now.
- Homer: ...ead!