SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
Born Again Krabs/I Had an Accident (2003)
Tom Kenny: SpongeBob SquarePants, Gary, Jellyfish, Narrator, Old Fish, Pinch-o-Matic
Quotes
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SpongeBob : From now on I am on round the clock butt patrol.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [snowboarding] Hey, Sandy! Watch me do the Grouchy Squidward.
Squidward : Stop naming moves after me.
SpongeBob SquarePants : [imitating Squidward] Everybody's an idiot except me.
Squidward : Well, it's true.
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[last lines]
SpongeBob : [now ripped in half by the gorilla] Patrick? Sandy?
Patrick , Sandy Cheeks : [in unison, tied in a sack] Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob : I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore, but I'm terrifed of gorillas now.
Sandy Cheeks : Oh, that's alright, SpongeBob. Us too.
SpongeBob : You know what I don't understand though?
SpongeBob : [other half] What?
SpongeBob : What's a gorilla doing underwater in the first place?
[the gorilla's eyes widen up in shock]
Gorilla : [nervously] Well, that's funny, you should - I mean, you see that - George, they're onto us!
George : Let's get out of here!
[the gorilla and the horse run away into the sunset as Sandy, Patrick, and SpongeBob watch them, a family is watching this as the mom and dad look at each other, the dad shuts off the TV as the screen goes to black]
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The Flying Dutchman : OK Krabs, I'll let you stay. But first, help me settle a bet. If you had to choose between Spongebob and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you take?
Mr. Krabs : That depends. How much money we talking about?
SpongeBob : Mr Krabs?
The Flying Dutchman : 62 cents.
Mr. Krabs : I'll take the money.
SpongeBob : Mr Krabs!
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Mr. Krabs : Why's it in a cage?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Because it growled at me.
[Krabby Patty growls]
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[SpongeBob is falling to the ground]
Sandy Cheeks : SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!
SpongeBob : [makes himself right-side up and takes off his pants] Like this?
Patrick : No, your other bottom!
Sandy Cheeks : [annoyed] Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick : Not until 4.
[SpongeBob crashes to the ground, where his rear has been shattered into hundreds of pieces]
Sandy Cheeks : Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
Patrick : Do it again! I wasn't looking!
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Doctor : Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery.
SpongeBob : My what has a what now?
Doctor : Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing. It took 20 hours to put it all back together. We actually ran out of staples, so we had to use a glue stick. Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky luck boy. But next time I want you to be more careful. One more injury like that, and you could end up like that poor creature there, in the iron butt.
Tom : Oh, man. It itches.
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[Mr. Krabs cries as he mistakenly traded SpongeBob to the Flying Dutchman]
The Flying Dutchman : [angry] Here, take him back!
Mr. Krabs : You heard what I said about the money?
The Flying Dutchman : Heard what you said? I couldn't hear myself thinking with this one around. I only had him for 30 seconds! And it's jellyfishing this and Mermaid Man that!
[while he's speaking, we get a flashback to moments before. The Flying Dutchman is hovering outside Davy Jones' locker, with SpongeBob standing on his open palm and chattering away]
SpongeBob : Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy merchandise were the closest thing to everything. I love jellyfishing, you should love jellyfishing. You should come some time and bring your own net!
The Flying Dutchman : Why, not giving him back is a fate worse than death! He's your problem now!
[He disappears laughing furiously]
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The Flying Dutchman : Who dares back sass the Flying Dutchman?
SpongeBob SquarePants : That would be me, SpongeBob Back-sassPants!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor, and so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.
Sandy Cheeks : That's crazy talk!
Patrick : That's not crazy talk! This is crazy talk!
[He starts babbling incoherently. Sandy pounds his head into his body to make him shut up]
Patrick : Sorry.
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Squidward : Gee, Mr. Krabs, you sure are taking total bankruptcy well.
Mr. Krabs : Oh, it's just a bad dream. I'll wake up soon.
[SpongeBob and Squidward share worried glances]
Squidward : Uh... "dream"?
Mr. Krabs : Sure. I'm still in the hospital sleeping like a baby!
SpongeBob : Umm, you checked out of the hospital this morning.
Squidward : Here's the bill.
Mr. Krabs : You mean... I'm awake?
[He screams]