SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
Something Smells/Bossy Boots (2000)
Bill Fagerbakke: Patrick Star, Fish #1
Photos
Quotes
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Patrick : Maybe a story will cheer you up. It's called "The Ugly Barnacle": Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End.
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[SpongeBob commenting on Patrick's disgusting breath]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Ah! Barnacles, Patrick. What did you eat?
Patrick : Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, I just meant just this morning.
Patrick : Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...
SpongeBob SquarePants : What else?
Patrick : Well, I had some of your sundae.
SpongeBob SquarePants : [realizes] Sundae...
[whips out what's left of it]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick! My sundae gave us rancid breath!
Patrick : Whatcha mean?
SpongeBob SquarePants : [coughs] I mean, we're not ugly, we just stink!
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Patrick : Just do what I do when I have problems. *Screeeeaaaam!*
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Patrick : What is wrong with you people? Afraid to look ugliness in the face?
[holding SpongeBob in front of everyone]
Patrick : Well, here! Look at it! It's ugly, isn't it?
[sticks SpongeBob in front of a group]
Patrick : You look at it!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Hello.
[the group runs away]
Patrick : [sticks SpongeBob in front of another group of people] You look at it!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Hi.
[the group runs away]
Patrick : Look at it!
[the entire theater runs away]
Patrick : Look at it! Look at it! Look at it! I want all of you to look at it!
[everyone in the theater runs away]
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [entering the bathroom] Patrick, is everything okay in here?
[hears Patrick whimpering and he then opens a stall and finds him sitting on a toilet with a paper bag over his head]
SpongeBob SquarePants : What are you doing in there, Patrick?
Patrick : Wouldn't you like to know?
SpongeBob SquarePants : And why is that bag on your head?
Patrick : Why? Oh, no reason. Except you gave me the ugly!
[removes the bag and points at his face, Spongebob then screams in terror]
Patrick : Well, what am I gonna do? I can't go out looking like this!
SpongeBob SquarePants : Just remember what we talked about. There's power in pride!
Patrick : That may fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people, now look at me! I'm almost as ugly as you!
[his stinky breath reaches Spongebob and he gags and holds his nose in disgust]
Patrick : I always thought if I was as ugly as that guy, I don't know what I would do.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick.
Patrick : What's my mom gonna say?
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick.
Patrick : Oh my gosh. If my sister finds out...
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick.
Patrick : Oh, wait, I don't have a sister. If the bank...
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick.
Patrick : Oh, maybe it's one thing if you have bad shoes, or even bad hair, but...
SpongeBob SquarePants : PAAATRIIIIIIICCK!
[Patrick stops talking]
SpongeBob SquarePants : You're not ugly, your breath stinks, really bad.
Patrick : Oh, what a relief.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [noticing Patrick] Oh, hi, Patrick. I'm confused.
Patrick : Yes, I am.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick, everyone is running away from me. Watch.
[walks over to a building]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Hi, building!
[his stinky breath hits the building and it springs to life and moves away]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I just don't get it!
Patrick : [SpongeBob's stinky breath hits Patrick but since he has no nose it just bounces off his face] I don't either. Maybe it's the way you're dressed.
[shows a close up of SpongeBob's clothes]
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick : Nah.
Patrick : Maybe it's your voice.
SpongeBob SquarePants : [SpongeBob laughs obnoxiously for a long time] Good one, Patrick.
Patrick : Well, maybe it's... just because you're ugly
SpongeBob SquarePants : Ugly?
[puts his finger in his mouth and wipes it across his eyebrows then strikes a pose]
SpongeBob SquarePants : You've got to be kidding me.
Patrick : Better try your reflection test.
[hands SpongeBob a mirror]
SpongeBob SquarePants : [to his reflection] Hi!
[his reflection smells his breath and reacts in disgust then smashes the mirror with a hammer]
Patrick : Ugly!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am!
Patrick : Sure, they would. It makes them feel better about the way they look.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [crying] How long, how long have I been ugly, Patrick?
Patrick : As long as I can remember. You poor, ugly thing, you.
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Patrick : Okay, now, say it.
[SpongeBob doesn't say anything]
Patrick : Say it.
SpongeBob SquarePants : I can't.
Patrick : SpongeBob, you're never gonna feel better 'til you get this thing off your chest.
[Reveals a pusating suction cup creature stuck to SpongeBob's chest]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I know, Patrick.
[removes it]
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Patrick : Just do what I do when I have problems... SCREEEEEEAM!
