- SpongeBob SquarePants: [about using Mermaid Man's belt to return Squidward to normal size] If only I knew how to work this thing!
- Patrick Star: Let me take a look at it.
- [looks at the belt for a while]
- Patrick Star: Hmmm, you know what the problem is?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: What?
- Patrick Star: You got it set to "M" for mini, when it should be set to "W" for "wumbo".
- [turns the M on the belt upside down]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Partrick, I don't think "wumbo" is a real word.
- Patrick Star: Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me wumbo, wumbo, Wumboing, We'll have thee wumbo, Wumborama, Wumbology, The study of wumbo? It's first grade SpongeBob!
- Squidward Tentacles: [looking down while he is being held in Patrick's hand] I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me?
- [Mrs. Puff has been jailed for gross negligence]
- Mrs. Poppy Puff: Okay, you can do this, Puff. You can get through this without losing your sanity. Oh, that's a road we don't want to go down again. Positives. Think of the positives. Let's see... I've got no more papers to grade. Yeah! In fact, no more work. No more boating school classes. No more driving, no more SpongeBob...
- [her brain clicks]
- Mrs. Poppy Puff: ... no more phone solicitors, no more SpongeBob, no more company potlucks, no more SpongeBob, no more road rage, no more SpongeBob, no more insurance payments, no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob...
- [laughing and speaking maniacally]
- Mrs. Poppy Puff: ... no more SpongeBob, no more SpongeBob!
- [sighs]
- Mrs. Poppy Puff: I think I'm gonna like this place.
- Squidward Tentacles: SpongeBob will you just face facts? You've shrunken everyone in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh Squidward he'll be so disappointed.
- Sandy Cheeks: Well you can't leave us small forever!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [on the verge of tears] But you don't understand!
- Mrs. SquarePants: [Spongebob's parents appear in the jar] SpongeBob you need to admit your mistakes
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Mom?
- Mermaid Man: Your mother's right son, Mermaid Man will understand
- Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man you old coot!
- Mermaid Man: Oh yeah.
- [Spongebob is at the First Nautical Bank, wearing a sock over his head, with a bag in his hands, facing away from the bank teller]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Alright, put the money in the bag! PUT IT IN!
- Bank Teller: Umm, you're facing the wrong way, sir.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [laughs, then turns around to face teller] ALRIGHT, GIVE ME THE MONEY!
- Bank Teller: Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Uhh, savings.
- Bank Teller: May I please see some identification?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Sure.
- [he hands teller his Jellyfishers Club Membership card]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Here ya go.
- Bank Teller: Thank you.
- [briefly types on cash register]
- Bank Teller: Sir, we are showing a balance of $0.00 for both of your accounts.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh.
- Bank Teller: Next!
- [Mrs. Puff has been freaking out at the sight of SpongeBob and Patrick in disguise; two prison guards hear her scream]
- Guard #2: What the barnacles is going on?
- Mrs. Poppy Puff: Get away from me! Get away!
- Guard #2: What are you talking, Puff?
- Mrs. Poppy Puff: You can't fool me! You're SpongeBob and that guy who likes the chili!
- [she rips off the guards' faces]
- Barnacle Boy: Listen, big-nose, that guy has been saving your butt since before you were born! Don't you got a living legend discount or something?
- Squidward Tentacles: This is a restaurant, not a lending library. And who are you calling "big-nose", big-nose?