Star Trek (TV Series)

A Piece of the Action (1968)

Leonard Nimoy: Mister Spock

Photos 

Quotes 

• Spock : [Gangster accent]  I would advise yas to keep dialin', Oxmyx.

• [last lines] 

  Capt. Kirk : All right, Bones, in the language of the planet, "What's your beef?"

  Dr. McCoy : Well, I don't know how serious this is, Jim. And I don't quite know how to tell you...

  Capt. Kirk : Go ahead.

  Dr. McCoy : But in all the confusion, I...

  Capt. Kirk : Tell me.

  Dr. McCoy : I think I left it in Bela's office.

  Capt. Kirk : You left it?

  Dr. McCoy : Somewhere, I'm-I'm not certain.

  Capt. Kirk : You're not certain of what?

  Dr. McCoy : I left my communicator.

  Capt. Kirk : In Bela's office?

  Spock : Captain, if the Iotians, who are very bright an imitative people, should take that communicator apart...

  Capt. Kirk : They will, they will. And they'll find out how the transtator works.

  Spock : The transtator is the basis for every important piece of equipment that we have - the transporter, the...

  Capt. Kirk : [overlapping]  Everything, everything.

  Dr. McCoy : You really think it's that serious?

  Capt. Kirk : Serious? Serious, Bones? It upsets the whole percentage.

  Dr. McCoy : How do you mean?

  Capt. Kirk : Well, in a few years, the Iotians may demand a piece of OUR action.

• Spock : [balking at the prospect of another ride in a car with Kirk at the wheel]  Captain, must we?

  Capt. Kirk : It's faster than walking.

  Spock : But not as safe.

  Capt. Kirk : Are you afraid of cars?

  Spock : Not at all, Captain. It's your DRIVING that alarms me.

• Dr. McCoy : We're trying to help you, Oxmyx.

  Bela Oxmyx : Nobody helps nobody but himself.

  Spock : Sir, you are employing a double negative.

• Spock : Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here.

  Dr. McCoy : You admit that?

  Spock : To deny the facts would be illogical, Doctor.

• Capt. Kirk : The name of the game is called, uh... fizzbin.

  Kalo : Fizzbin?

  Capt. Kirk : Fizzbin. It's, uh... not too difficult.

  Kalo : Mm-hmm.

  Capt. Kirk : Each player gets six cards, except for the dealer, er, the player on the dealer's right, who, er, gets seven.

  Kalo : On the right?

  Capt. Kirk : Yes. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesday.

  Kalo : On Tuesday.

  Capt. Kirk : Mm-hmm.

  Capt. Kirk : [exited]  Ooh, look what you got, two jacks. You got a half fizzbin already!

  Kalo : Hehe! I need another jack.

  Capt. Kirk : No, no. If you got another jack, why, you'd have, er, a sralk.

  Kalo : A sralk?

  Capt. Kirk : Yes. You'd be disqualified.

  Kalo : Oh.

  Capt. Kirk : No, what you need now, is either a king and a deuce, except at night, of course, when you'd need a queen and a, and a four.

  Kalo : Except at night.

  Capt. Kirk : Right. Oh, look at that. You've got another jack!

  [Kalo laughs] 

  Capt. Kirk : How lucky you are! How wonderful for you. Now, if you didn't get another jack, if you'd gotten a king, why, then you'd get another card, except when it's dark, when you'd have to give it back.

  Kalo : If it were dark on Tuesday.

  Capt. Kirk : Yes, but what you're after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds in getting a royal fizzbin are astron... Spock, what are the odds in getting a royal fizzbin?

  Spock : I have never computed them, Captain.

  Capt. Kirk : Well, they're astronomical, believe me.

• Spock : [narrating]  Ship's Log. Mr. Spock reporting. Incredible as it seems, Dr. McCoy and I are once again prisoners of the chief criminal boss of a society patterned after old Earth gangsters.

• Spock : Captain... you are an excellent starship commander. But as a taxi driver, you leave much to be desired.

  Capt. Kirk : It was that bad?

• Capt. Kirk : [adopting a Chicago gangster accent]  Now, you cooperate wid us and, uh, maybe we'll cut choo in for a piece o' dee action.

  Spock : A minuscule... A very small piece.

  Jojo Krako : How much is that?

  Capt. Kirk : That's, uh...

  Capt. Kirk : [dropping the accent]  We'll figure it out later.

  Jojo Krako : Thought you guys had laws! No interference!

  Capt. Kirk : [accent on]  Who's interferin'? We're... takin' over!

  Capt. Kirk : [to Spock]  Check?

  Spock : Right.

• Dr. McCoy : How are you with primitive radio equipment?

  Spock : Very simple. Amplitude modulation transmission. Simply adjust the frequency, throw this switch. The Enterprise should answer.

  Radio Voice : That was the Jailbreakers with their latest recording on Request Time, brought to you by Bang-Bang, the makers of the sweetest little automatic in the wor...

  Spock : [switches radio off]  Fascinating.

  Dr. McCoy : And very simple.

• Kalo : [pointing a Tommy gun at Kirk. Spock & McCoy]  Okay, you three, let's see you petrify.

  Spock : Sir, would you mind explaining that statement, please?

  Kalo : I wanna see you turn to stone. Put your hands over your head, or you ain't gonna have no head to put your hands over.

• Spock : Mr. Oxmyx, this is Mr. Spock.

  Bela Oxmyx : [using a stolen communicator]  Huh? Hey, how'd you get back up there?

  Spock : Irrelevant, since we are here.

  Bela Oxmyx : Huh, yeah. Hey, you better come on back down. Krako's put the bag on your captain.

  Spock : Why would he put a bag on our captain?

  Bela Oxmyx : Kidnapped him, ya dope. He'll scrag him, too.

• Spock : Captain, I'm neither brooding nor sombre, but I do have reservations about your solution to the problem of the Iotians.

  Capt. Kirk : Ah, yes. I understand that. You don't think it's logical to leave a criminal organization in charge.

  Spock : Highly irregular, to say the least, Captain. I'm also curious as to how you propose to explain to Starfleet Command that a starship will be sent each year to collect "our cut."

• Spock : [on the 1920's Chicago-style world]  Fascinating.

  Dr. McCoy : This is like coming home.

  Capt. Kirk : Home was never like this.