Star Trek (TV Series)
Errand of Mercy (1967)
William Shatner: Captain James Tiberius 'Jim' Kirk
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Quotes
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[Spock prevents Kirk from reacting to a Klingon's provocation]
Captain James T. Kirk : You didn't really think I was gonna beat his head in, did you?
Mr. Spock : I thought you might.
Captain James T. Kirk : You're right.
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[Ayelborne and Claymare have interfered in the quarrel between Kirk and Kor]
Captain James T. Kirk : You have no right to dictate to our Federation...
Kor : Or our Empire!
Captain James T. Kirk : ...how to handle their interstellar relations! We have the right...
Ayelborne : To wage war, Captain? To kill millions of innocent people? To destroy life on a planetary scale? Is that what you're defending?
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Captain James T. Kirk : Well, Commander, I guess that takes care of the war. Obviously, the Organians aren't going to let us fight.
Kor : A shame, Captain. It would have been glorious.
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Kor : Do you also welcome me?
Captain James T. Kirk : You're here; there's nothing I can do about it.
Kor : [smiles] Good, honest hatred. Very refreshing.
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Captain James T. Kirk : Well there it is - war. We didn't want it, but we've got it.
Mr. Spock : Curious how often you Humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.
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Captain James T. Kirk : What would you say the odds are on our getting out of here?
Mr. Spock : Difficult to be precise, Captain. I should say, approximately 7,824.7 to 1.
Captain James T. Kirk : Difficult to be precise? 7,824 to 1?
Mr. Spock : 7,824.7 to 1.
Captain James T. Kirk : That's a pretty close approximation.
Mr. Spock : I endeavor to be accurate.
Captain James T. Kirk : You do quite well.
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[Kirk is posing as an Organian]
Kor : Where is your smile?
Captain James T. Kirk : My what?
Kor : The stupid, idiotic smile everyone else seems to be wearing.
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Captain James T. Kirk : Mr. Spock, did I or did I not see something that looked like a munitions dump outside of Kor's headquarters?
Mr. Spock : You did.
Captain James T. Kirk : I think it's time we did a little simple and plain communicating. Tonight.
Mr. Spock : A very meritorious idea, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk : We're short of tools.
Mr. Spock : I am certain the Klingons will provide whatever is necessary.
Captain James T. Kirk : It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Spock.
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Captain James T. Kirk : [to Ayelborne] I am used to the idea of dying. But I have no desire to die for the likes of you.
Kor : I don't blame you, Captain.
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Claymare : We find interference in other people's affairs... most disgusting. But you, gentlemen, have given us no choice.
Captain James T. Kirk : You should be the first to be on our side. Two hundred hostages killed!
Ayelborne : No one has been killed, Captain.
Claymare : No one has died here in uncounted thousands of years.
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[last lines]
Captain James T. Kirk : I'm embarrassed. I was furious with the Organians for stopping a war I didn't want. We think of ourselves as the most powerful beings in the universe. It's unsettling to discover that we're wrong.
Mr. Spock : Captain. It took millions of years for the Organians to evolve into what they are. Even the gods did not spring into being overnight. You and I have no reason to be embarrassed. We did, after all, beat the odds.
Captain James T. Kirk : Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Spock, we didn't beat the odds; we didn't have a chance. The Organians rated the game.
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Captain James T. Kirk : Organia's description, Mr. Spock.
Mr. Spock : Inhabited by humanoids, a very peaceful, friendly people, living on a primitive level. Little of intrinsic value. Approximately class D minus on the Richter scale of cultures.
Captain James T. Kirk : Another Armenia, Belgium.
Mr. Spock : Sir?
Captain James T. Kirk : The weak innocents. They always seem to be located on the natural invasion routes.
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Captain James T. Kirk : Gentlemen, I have no great love for you, your planet, your culture. Despite that, Mr. Spock and I are gonna go out there, and quite probably die - in an attempt to show you that there are some things worth dying for.
Ayelborne : But there're only two of you against an army. Don't you realize that what you intend to do will be hopeless?
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Kor : We are similar as a species. Here we are on a planet of sheep, two tigers, predators, hunters... killers. And it is precisely that which makes us great. And there is a universe to be taken.
Captain James T. Kirk : It's a very large universe, Commander, full of people who don't like the Klingons.
Kor : Excellent. Then it shall be a matter of testing each other's wills, and power. Survival must be earned, Captain.
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Trefayne : Eight space vehicles have assumed orbit around the planet.
Capt. Kirk : How does he know that?
Ayelborne : Oh, our friend Trefayne is quite intuitive.
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Kor : Tell me about the dispersal of your Starfleet.
Captain James T. Kirk : [smiles] Go climb a tree.
Kor : Hm. I can get what I want through our mind scanner, but... there would be very little of your mind left, Captain. I have no desire to see you become a vegetable.
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Mr. Spock : Captain, our information on these people and their culture was not correct. This is not a primitive society making progress toward mechanization. They are totally stagnant. There is no evidence of any progress as far back as my tricorder can register.
Captain James T. Kirk : That doesn't seem likely.
Mr. Spock : Nevertheless, it is true. For tens of thousands of years, there's been absolutely no advancement, no significant change in their physical environment. This is a laboratory specimen of an arrested culture.
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Captain James T. Kirk : [beaming down into the middle of an Organian village, with no reaction from the people around] You'd think they had people beaming down every day.
Mr. Spock : Yes. Curious lack of interest.
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Captain James T. Kirk : So - we're stranded here, in the middle of a Klingon occupation army.
Mr. Spock : So it would seem. Not a very pleasant prospect.
Captain James T. Kirk : You have a gift for understatement, Mr. Spock. It's not a very pleasant prospect at all!
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Captain James T. Kirk : I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. I can only tell you the truth.